I have a question for those who suffer from social anxiety or variations of such. My question is a matter of how the world is seen to you, through your eyes. For me I want to lay in bed with my eyes closed, alone in my thoughts. I prefer to have someone that I know in the background but they remain just that, in the background. I tend to be aloof though I don’t mean to be… walking around the house can seem overwhelming at times, there is simply too much information. On that front, the world is data to me and I’m trying to interpret it.
I “function” better at night I find… going outside is a little easier perhaps because there aren’t as many people or perhaps there isn’t as much data… or both.
I avoid talking with people though I sometimes imagine having conversations with them in my head, almost like imagining what I would say.
Small tasks seem overwhelming… sometimes I spend the majority of the day in my room with my eyes shut in silence; time flies. I’ll sometimes only listen to the television again too with my eyes shut.
I tried my best to explain. I’ve dealt with it for so many years… am I alone in how I perceive the world??
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Heres my ideal fucking set up. I have my own house with my recording studio, graphic design, and writing lab all in one place. I would sleep during the day and record my music and live my life for the night. Night is more creative for me and night is where i belong with my fellow werewolves and vampires. That would be my ideal.
I’m up and down. some days im a nervous and anxious fuck piece and other days I’m just a bit unsure. Go figure though, im an awesome public speaker when I have to be. I’ve never been one to let fear control me but at times life gets the best of me. I just wanted to share my ideal creative and life setup of living for and with the night. Partnering with darkness instead of being afraid of it.
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Heres my ideal fucking set up. I have my own house with my recording studio, graphic design, and writing lab all in one place. I would sleep during the day and record my music and live my life for the night. Night is more creative for me and night is where i belong with my fellow werewolves and vampires. That would be my ideal.
I’m up and down. some days im a nervous and anxious fuck piece and other days I’m just a bit unsure. Go figure though, im an awesome public speaker when I have to be. I’ve never been one to let fear control me but at times life gets the best of me. I just wanted to share my ideal creative and life setup of living for and with the night. Teaming up with darkness instead of being afraid of it.
testing. if this works i have a comment for you in moderation that u can approve
lol 2nd one worked
Not at all. Most of my days are spent in bed, listening to music and imagining a world that’s better than what’s here. TV bores me kind of quickly but I watch it to keep myself distracted long enough to get through the day. My social anxiety pretty much revolves around premature judgements. Every time I go out (when I actually HAVE to for food and such) it’s a horrible feeling for me because I always think that people can see right through me, and see the depression and anxiety I’m suffering. This was one of the reasons I quit my job in retail, because I kept getting such pessimistic thoughts (like, how ugly I am or I may not be telling them the truth) whenever people walked up to me for help… it got even worse since retail involves upset customers.
I’m able to hold conversations at an average level but become overwhelmed easily, mostly because I feel like I need to constantly entertain the person I’m talking with. As for functioning, I do better alone without anyone to bother or talk with me, and at night just because no one’s out too late where I live (that, and the night sky is a sight to behold).
So, my answer is no. You’re not alone in your perceptions of the world.
Hope this answered your question.
no you are not. you have a chronic loneliness problem. find a hobby you can do at home. from reading fiction to mathmatics, from cooking to proggramming pic a side. if you can have a small social circle you can wallow with, join them a little interaction will help.. your brain won’t sit silently. you have to make him busy so that he can forget his final reward, the uglybeauty truth…. death!
There was a time when I could only go out after dark. I’ve always felt much more relaxed at night. I think it’s because no one expects anything of you, nothing is going to suddenly happen, no one’s going to want anything of you… and if you’re outside, you’re veiled in the darkness. I feel hidden and safer. I used to love walking to the bus every morning before daylight saving, when the world was still shadowy and half asleep.
I also imagine having conversations… with people I would never talk to. I find now that most conversations drain me and make me vague and faint.
Everyone’s slightly different but you’re not alone in the ways you perceive the world.
I don’t have it as extreme as you do, but here’s what I do: On my good days I hold on to the “I don’t give a fuck what other’s think of me, as long as I’m not harming anyone else” attitude. If I’m a mute in the grocery store and only nod, whatever, I’m not hurting anyone. If my hands are twitching and clenching like crazy, whatever, I’m not hurting anyone. I find if I spend too much time with my thoughts I go even crazier…even though it’s the only thing I want to do, so I try to spend time with animals – they don’t judge. On my bad days (that aren’t so bad that I can still get out of bed) I go up the mountain and into the woods. I can cry, yell, twitch, whatever with no one judging me.