If I am weak or selfish shouldn’t I take responsibility for that?
Shouldnt I just get out of everyone’s way?
A hindrance is still an issue even if it only effects a few, it won’t get better til some sort of action is taken right…
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Are you referring to yourself as a hindrance? Why do you think that?
Yeah mostly, though I’m sure many on sp aren’t strangers to feeling the same if not similiar for whatever situation they’re going through as well.
Mostly because of the burden I put on those around me. Whether I’m exhausting them emotionally or finacially, that burden is there.
What makes you weak and selfish?
For one that I don’t have the gall to just get it done and over with and take myself out yet. It’s pretty weak in my opinion, though I’m sure there are those who’d argue with that sentiment.
But there are other things that I’ve discovered about myself that really reflect poorly.
I have bad traits too, but you can sit there and hate yourself for them, try to change them, or embrace them. At the moment I’m going with a mix of 1 and 2, but I’m making (slight) progress.
It takes a certain kind of strength to end your life, as it goes against every natural instinct. Is that really the only reason why you’re still around, because you haven’t worked up the nerve to end it? I don’t think it is.
The point of a support system is so that when you are down, they can help you, and vice versa. It’s not easy but it’s worthwhile and it’s done out of love and care. That does not make you a burden.
I just want to second everything freeroma said, especially the part about support systems.
Taking responsibility doesn’t have to mean removing yourself from people you’re currently depending on. There are other ways to make changes.
@freeroma
Ah I get what you’re saying and I appreciate it. I appreciate and love my support and just because I harbor these feelings doesn’t mean I don’t see what they’re doing for me.
I think in the past I might have struggled with the things I hated about myself but now I just see it for what it is. I do what I can to correct things I have control over but there other issues where that’s not going to cut it. So I feel like I don’t belong, I’m not positively contributing to anything or anyone worse I am not just endangerment to myself but to others as well.
I feel like for those reasons it would be safer, better even to not be around. But more so just because I can say it’s not this huge dramatic thing for me maybe because I don’t necessarily see death as a bad thing. Its natural-it’s needed, so what if I’m cutting my losses early. It’s my loss not anyone else’s, they shouldn’t feel the need to worry.
🙁 there will always be worry regarding life and it’s end, for all parties involved…
I don’t know what to say