Excuse the Selfie. I’ll explain why that’s here momentarily. Just bare with me.
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it the wind rushing
Or your bones crushing
As you stop so abruptly
Is it the pain in your ribs
The numbness in your fingertips
Or the light fading slowly
How do you know if you’re falling?
Is it silent whisper
Or gentle kisses
Under the cover of the night
Is it soft touches
And sweet nothings
Almost inaudible sometimes
Which way am I falling
Am I running
Am I crawling
Clawing at the air
Grasping for something that was never there
Am I flying
And soaring
Maybe finding my one and only saving grace
He tells me I’m beautiful and talented and smart
He tells me I keep him from falling apart
But I feel the pain when he speaks to me
I know when a person is on their knees
So how do I know if he’s falling
Before the wind
And breaking skin
Before he stops abruptly
With broken ribs
Bleeding fingertips
The light gone completely
Because I’m terrified
The picture above is me. No makeup. Just woke up. I will admit that black and white pictures hide several flaws, but he still tells me I’m beautiful. I wonder what he would say if he could see everything that goes on in my head. Behind my eyes. At the tip of my tongue. The voices. The questions. The answers. He swears he loves me and I am so glad he does, but would he still feel the same if I tried to show him these things? No matter. It’s only a matter of time before he gets fed up with everything else and ends it. Nothing I can do. That might break me. That might be the final straw
16 comments
You aren’t giving him much credit, then. Alls I knows is nothing stays hidden.
You have a point. I had no intentions of keeping these things hidden forever. Some things are just a pain in the ass to talk about.
I’ve been on both ends of that conversation. As long as your beloved is not a shallow idiot then things will be fine. For all you know he may have things he needs to talk about too!
Have that conversation while you have clarity and love on your side.
I have a proposition to make, if you’d hear it. Let’s make a partnership in a way, we push each other to write. Because this is better than my best piece, I know you can teach me more than I have ever known. Let’s work together on this.
Also, are you trying to make a very sly MCR reference? Don’t you lie.
Thank you.
Well, good thing we have a filter that we can control to some extent, eh? The ability to “read” minds would be a terrible curse in some ways, I think, though a useful one of course. Social interaction would be very difficult if everyone knew the truth of others minds. Of course in love it’s different, you’d like to think they’d love you despite, or even to some degree because of, your true and full mind. And for a lot of people I think that’s entirely possible.
Most things don’t stay hidden, it’s true, humans love to talk. But at least you can space revelations out in a reasonable and manageable manner. Or we can stay in our shells forever. Whatever the case, best of luck. I always feel weird ending comments on that note… “best of luck”. Ah well.
I suppose spacing it all out would be the best. I’m sure he could accept ever piece of my mind. I’m just afraid that I’m wrong.
Thanks, river.
Sammi, I’m so sorry you’re in the situation you’re in right now. It’s the hardest thing to hide yourself from people, constantly doubting all their feelings, knowing how different everything would be if they could see the real you. We’re in the same boat.
Unfortunately, I have no advice for you. I thought I was something of a love guru after my last relationship, lol. Thought I’d gleaned some wisdom from my mistakes, but I guess I haven’t changed after all. So I really don’t know what you should do.
But you’ll figure it out. And then you should tell me exactly what you did, so I can copy you and fix some of my problems too :).
That’s alright, Diem. I still see you as a love guru. No points lost.
Gotta stop hiding at some point, right? Well. Deep breath. That time has come for me -_-
You wanna hear my opinion? No, nevermind
What the hell do I know anyway? 🙂
But your poem is really something and..my opinion is : most of them don’t treat you the same after..they are douchebags
Most of them are indeed douche bags. I’m just hoping he’ll understand since he’s facing his own demons.
Don’t take this the wrong way but I like it when people post selfies and stuff because it reminds me even a very pretty face can hide very agonizing pain there is no such thing as a the beautiful people because depression can grab ahold of anyone
You’re right about that. Funny how that works. Seems like someone should catch a break.