I am hellish.
It took me a while to finish that sentence. Today, I was exposed to the revelation that I am that friend. That person; I am changing. I found myself today, in one of those common ruts, depressed and anxious to the extent that I could not keep a facade on my face.
These friends of mine are lovely. They do not judge me openly. They listen. The trouble is, you never know what they’re thinking, hearing you speak, watching you move – or not move at all. But today I did something I never have done. I demanded affection.
A friend was leaving for the day, turned her back on me. So I grabbed her bag, spun her around and hugged her.
And she was terrified.
She has told me that I am a good friend. I have told her many things, confided in her. So what the hell does this mean, and what on earth made me think I was entitled in any way at all?
2 comments
My parents were smart people. One of the things they taught me was it is OK to ask for affection. I would recommend you use your words instead of dramatic grabbing.
I doubt your friend was terrified. She was probably uncomfortable.
You deserve love and affection. You will find your special someone. In the meantime, value the friendships you have right now.
You might have freaked her out a bit grabbing her bag and spinning her around. Why not just send a text or whatever telling her that you’re sorry if you freaked her out. It’s probably not as big a deal as it feels to you right now. You will probably feel better if you clear the air about it.