I’ve made a post a few days ago about my problem. I don’t know if it’s possible to view someone’s posts, but you are free to see my previous post if it’s possible if you want to know what my problem is. It’s loneliness, in a nutshell. A lot of the replies were indeed encouraging, especially those from people who could relate. My problem is that I’ve never even had a chance to be with a girl. I’m extremely shy and it took me 21 years to be able to just talk to girls, and now I lack the experience necessary to find a girlfriend, that’s apart from the fact that no girl has ever shown interest in me. And for the life of me I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. I’m a very nice person, good looking (but short), I’m multitalented and a skilled guitarist. I’m intelligent and well-educated. However, I’ve always been extremely introverted and a loner, but so many people are this way and have a relationship, so I don’t see how this is supposed to be an obstacle. So, I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me.
I’m 24, I’ve never been in a relationship and never even kissed a girl (I’m seeing an escort soon for this purpose), and the way things are going, it seems this is my destiny. I can’t take it anymore. Years upon years of (involuntary) loneliness have severely damaged me emotionally, especially when I see everyone around me managing socially with no effort whatsoever. I’ve been depressed for a few years straight, with short periods of apparently false happiness and optimism. Each morning is a torture for me when I see I have to go through yet another day full of emotional torture and boredom. I don’t even have a job because I won’t be able to handle one due to my depression, so I’m also underachieving in life, all because of girls (I don’t hate girls, but if they cared about me, they’d give me a chance. None of my female friends have shown desire to be with me, nor help me find somone). My therapist is unable to help, since whatever he does, the main problem remains: I’m lonely and girlfriendless. No matter how much therapy I get, unless I get a girlfriend, my depression won’t go away. And even if I do get a girlfriend, the damage is done, so in either case I’m going to die young.
So, I’ve decided that if things don’t improve in a few years, perhaps until I’m 28, or 30 max, I’m going to put an end to my life (I’m going to end my life either case, since the damage is done, and it’s irreversible). I’ve researched and found a reliable method. I’m just afraid of what’s after. What if I reincarnate? Or, what if there’s a hell and I end up in hell (this is ironic as I’m not religious, but still the possibility remains)? What I want after I die is to simply cease to exist, which is a terrifying thought by itself, but since I won’t exist anymore, it surely won’t bother me once I’m gone. So, how can I gather the courage to end my miserable and worthless life?
Here are some things you can google if you want to understand my situation better: incel, love-shyness. It seems that I fit under love-shyness, which apparently is leading me to be incel and unable to obtain a partner, which is torturous.
39 comments
You can view someone’s posts, if you click on the poster’s name it will link you to their past.
I don’t think the damage is permanent, if you manage to get to a lasting, meaningful relationship at some point I think that loneliness problem will be solved, I don’t have anything to offer you on that front that wasn’t said in your last post though.
“I don’t hate girls, but if they cared about me, they’d give me a chance. None of my female friends have show desire to be with me, nor help me find someone”
Well just because they are your friends doesn’t mean they want anything more from you. That happens a lot. If someone isn’t interested, she’s not going to show it. Have you ever asked them if they would help you find someone? I thought you might have been considering the online thing too, since someone said they had a good result with it… Though you then asked what the point would be, which seems a bit self defeating.
Perhaps you should consider searching to see if there are other options to ease this issue besides therapy, since you say it’s not helping you that much.
If you’re a skilled guitarist, and your introversion allows, you could always play someplace public, like a park or something, there’s usually interest shown to musicians… Or find a way to showcase your other talents. You sound like you have some good traits going for you.
If you’re going to wait a few years, might as well worry about your death then and see if your life can’t improve now.
Thank you for the reply. I already play with one of my friends as a duo. We’ve done a few shows. Still no interest. See? This is why I can’t figure out what’s wrong with me! We once put a video on Facebook. One girl told me she liked my playing. I asked her out later on Facebook, she agreed. We met just once and I think she now has a boyfriend. It seems that because of my love-shyness I always mess up and fail to show romantic interest and advance stuff with a girl.
I met another girl from one show (not because she showed any interest, the circumstances were just in my favor), added her on Facebook, but I was too afraid to contact her because to me it’s all rejection now. Another time I had the opportunity to get to know one girl, but I couldn’t do anything because of the anxiety caused by love-shyness, and even then I’m almost sure she didn’t see me as a romantic interest. This is how much my life sucks. I can’t romantically approach girls even if I wanted to! Unless it’s online, and the only times I’ve done it were on Facebook, and got rejected later. So maybe online dating would work (though I don’t have my hopes high since I’m average at best in regards to looks).
Apart from those girls, there has been no direct interest, like, “I like your playing, I wish we could talk more”. Nothing of that sort.
“If someone isn’t interested, she’s not going to show it.”
Believe it or not, no girl has ever shown romantic interest in me whatsoever. You’re free to believe this or deny it, although most people deny it. Well, yes, no girl has ever ever shown interest in me! How the hell should I be optimistic and have a desire to live? Why would I want to live when girls are obviously not attracted to me?
You know what also sucks? I’m viewed as a failure by the rest of the world popuation for my romantic failure. “24 and never kissed a girl!? Obviously there’s something wrong with you!” That’s how most people think about my situation, I’m sure. Though to be honest, this is the least of my concerns. It’s the torturous loneliness that bothers me.
Well, I just got rejected again this minute. What am I going to do with my life!? Why live? Seriously, I want a reason to live.
Really, I think ’24 and never kissed a girl, look how many germs he’s avoided!’
Honestly, I don’t think anything of it, but it’s really not the worst thing. There are people on this site older than you who are in that same position, though perhaps not with that same affliction. Every time someone doesn’t like you, it reinforces the image that no one will like you, which makes you not want to try again, which leaves you feeling more alone. I think it is possible that you have gotten some signals in the past, but your mindset dismissed them as impossible. I’m saying that’s a possibility, not that it’s definitely what happened. There are going to be girls who are attracted to you, I promise. How did this rejection happen?
“There are going to be girls who are attracted to you, I promise.”
I don’t believe this anymore. I used to, but not anymore. And by the way, I’ve known guys in their 50’s (through online incel communities) who have never even kissed a girl. The way things are, it seems that’s where I’m heading. No way. I’m ending it before I get to even 30. And now, I’m considering before 25, so I have around a year, as I’m not even 24 yet. I’ll be 24 in 2 months.
“24 and never kissed a girl, look how many germs he’s avoided”
I’m considering seeing an escort to get it over with. So an escort has no germs? I got to the point of having to pay for something as simple as a kiss… I think from there you can see how serious my problem is and how bad things have gotten.
The rejection:
There was a girl I met through theater classes. I thought she was cute, so I messaged her on Facebook, we talked for a while, and I asked her out. She said yes at first, but when the time came to meet, she flaked. Then we decided to meet one week later, she flaked again. So now I messaged her and said, “Would you like to drink something sometime? I’ve asked you before, but it seems like it never worked. So I want to know if you’d like to.” And her response was, “And it seems that it will never work. I’m studying in another town and I barely come home.” Yeah sure. Excuses. The word “never” (though it was in another language) set things in perspective. This IS a rejection.
“i’m 24, I’ve never been in a relationship and never even kissed a girl” — I have two IRL friends (well we used to be friends) that are in similar situations… Maybe that’s not so uncommon. I know that knowing this doesn’t make things better though. I think in the end all these feelings of rejection and loneliness are really hard to overcome, but you can do it. Honestly finding love (what’s romantic love lol) isn’t that easy.
Now I’m curious to hear you playing!
Hopefully things will improve in your life… I know you feel hopeless, but you’re still young and who knows who you may meet tomorrow. I wish I could offer better advice, but I’m totally lost when it comes to love.
I’m still young now, yes. But it’s only 6 years until I hit 30. Once I hit 30, it’s over.
I’m not talking only about love. I can’t even get laid. I can’t even get a short-term relationship or just a girl to kiss! A kiss doesn’t need a relationship. I’m now seriously considering paying an escort to kiss me. Why!? Why do I have to go through all this!?
I have a question for you. I’m assuming those friends you’re talking about have never kissed a girl because it’s out of choice. They haven’t met a girl they felt like kissing. Am I right? If I’m right and this is the case, then their situation is totally different and can’t be compared to mine. Trust me, my situation IS extremely uncommon and rare.
Out of curiosity, are there people who did suffer from this but are able to move on from it?
I don’t know anyone in real life but me who suffers from this. On the internet community that I’m part of, there’s too much depression there. There was a suicide case, too. There’s another guy in his 30’s who eventually got married at 31, but now he’s still depressed about his wasted youth. And you tell me the damage isn’t permanent. The damage is done, period. With all that said, one guy didn’t get a girlfriend until 33, and seems cool with it. He’s an idol to me, and always supports me, since he knows perfectly well where I come from. But even with his support, there’s no 100% guarantee that I will eventually get a girlfriend. Besides, getting a girlfriend is not supposed to be such a big issue, but for me it’s something that’s not only an issue, but makes me suicidal. This is how serious this thing is.
Most of the guys there have little no romantic experience. I’m telling you, some of the guys are in their 50’s and have never even kissed a girl. Some of them have been rejected hundreds of times. Others thousands! I’m yet to reach 10 rejections, but my problem is different. My problem is mainly “love-shyness”, which has prevented me from interacting with girls until I was 21, and now I don’t know how these things are done, so naturally the girls might be sensing this and it doesn’t attract them, so I get rejected. With each year passing, the situation is becoming more and more hopeless.
I will try online dating as a last resort. If it doesn’t work, and I have a strong feeling it won’t, then I’m saying goodbye to this wretched world.
I think I’m going to do it… But not now. I don’t feel ready now. I wish in a few years I’ll be read, and I will have finally gathered the courage to carry out my plans.
I was just dealt an extremely bad hand in life. I don’t want to live. I never wanted to live.
As I mentioned before, for the ‘romantic interaction’ aspect of it, there are websites available on how to attract and talk to women. Perhaps you could look at them. In addition to learning how many people act, this might give you a slight boost in confidence when talking to the opposite sex. (YES I know it’s not the main issue) It couldn’t really hurt at this point could it?
And it’s possible theatre girl said yes at first, but then got swamped with other things in her life, it doesn’t mean she was making excuses. Something made her say yes initially.
For now, hold on to the fact that someone who was in your shoes managed to find someone, give it a bit of time, and try the online thing.
I hope in a few years you’re going to be in a much better state.
Thanks.
You don’t have an idea how much time I’ve wasted, yes, wasted, on those sites that claim to “teach” how to attract women. I know way too much, more than I should. My brother, on the other hand, can’t even tell if a girl likes him (while I can, but those signs are nonexistent for me), but he’s had a few girlfriends in his life so far, and he’s younger than me. Please explain this. He never read even a single word about attracting girls, but he still attracts them.
The point is, you can’t “learn” how to attract girls. You’re either attractive or you are not. End of story. At least I have looks going for me (according to people who know me and a few girls around my age), and a few other talents that apparently girls don’t care about.
Besides, it’s not that I can’t talk to them, but it just took me enough time to make me depressed and make it hard for me to even try. There’s nothing I can really do about not being able to show romantic interest. I don’t even pay attention to it. When I talk to a girl, I talk as a friend, I don’t know how to show romantic interest (and it’s not something you can learn in my case, as all the time I spent trying to learn has proved). It’s not really something I can control. Love-shyness is a legit mental disorder that hasn’t been researched, and thus has no cure, apart from maybe online dating, but again it does’t work for everyone. Girls avoid guys like as like the plague.
You were in my shoes? I don’t believe it. People who are/were in my shoes are extremely rare. However, if you’re referring to the guys I’ve talked about, well, those are the anomaly among the community I’m part of. And many of them even lucked out. Some of them had friends introduce them to girls. I’ve thought about trying this, and I’ve even asked some of my female friends, but they didn’t take something that makes me suicidal seriously. Now I will try a male friend, but I’m not hoping much.
My situation is getting more hopeless by the day. I’m getting more and more depressed. Each day is an emotional torture for me. Why should I go on? I feel like any day I might finally make up my mind and carry out my plans, or lose my sanity completely. That’s how dangerous my situation is. That’s how much being forced to be lonely hurts. Honestly, I feel like I’ve experienced the worst of emotional suffering. I can’t imagine anything more emotionally torturous than this.
I was referring to your friend with the “same shoes’ comment.
Idk why your brother is fine with girls, I’m sorry the websites couldn’t help you, I’m not a relationship expert, I’ve never had one, I don’t know why I’m trying in this area, it’s obvious I don’t know much, I don’t know.
I could imagine your situation being more emotionally torturous, honestly, but that’s my mind.
I don’t really have anything left I can say, sorry.
I feel I might have said something that might have hurt you, so I apologize. Being is this situation though, especially that I’m suicidal, makes me say things that aren’t of my nature.
I think there are more lonely people than I imagine there are. Most of them just don’t admit it, as I’m observing in my day to day life with people I meet. However, I was talking about relationships in general, not just romantic relationships. Like, occasional hook ups, casual sexual encounters, short-term meaningless relationships, or just something as simple as cuddling and kissing. I’m denied all this.
The websites didn’t help because you’re either born attractive to the opposite sex (or same sex in some cases), or not. My personal belief is, and from experience, maybe there’s little you can do about it.
I’m sorry again.
I meant to say romantic long-term relationships.
No, you’re fine, I’m sorry for making you sorry, (lol, but seriously). And I was aware that you were talking of all non-platonic relationships.
When I went to university I met a lot of 18/19/20 year olds who had never had a significant other, were probably virgins, and had barely gone on any dates. (Maybe high school prom, that was about it.)
I don’t know what happened to those people (some of whom were very physically attractive and also intelligent), and if they ended up meeting anyone or not, but my point here is: you’re still young, possibly you just haven’t met someone yet who you click with and feel comfortable with. And just because you haven’t had relationship experience doesn’t mean that no one would be interested in you. Basically, just treat the other person like a good friend (once you can trust them), but be sweeter with them and don’t be afraid of being vulnerable. (You know, if they’re the same way with you.) Be your normal self, don’t be neurotic, and allow things to develop as naturally as possible without rushing it. That’s what worked for me, anyway.
Well, what you said is a possibility, I guess. None of the girls I’ve been interested in (and felt comfortable with) saw me the same way though, so being nice to them didn’t particularly help. Girls aren’t attracted to nice guys, and because of this I’m trying to change my “nice” attitude.
In my 9 or so years I’ve been interested in girls, only one girl was actually interested in me, but she has a boyfriend, and she told me if she didn’t, she’d give me a chance. I take this with a grain of salt, though. Women seldom know what they want, if ever. They simply have no self-awareness. And I’m not being sexist here, this is a fact.
Hate to return again, but what? I know what I want, thank you very much, and I am very self-aware of my flaws and traits.
Members of both genders have bouts of uncertainty and lack of self-awareness, it’s not just a state you can delegate to the female population.
Why are you attracted to guys who treat you badly then? I’m sorry for being overly honest, but I’ve been observing this in my life since years. Some girls have complained to me about their boyfriends and how badly they treat them, yet I’m just a friend to them. And I’m nice to them. I’m not rude to them and I treat them with respect, but it seems they don’t value this.
I’m not blaming women, just to be clear. It might be just their nature. But they aren’t going to choose me as a partner just because I’m nice to them and don’t treat them like they’re inferior, I prefer not to be alive at all.
Guys end up with people who aren’t good for them either. At all.
Again, not something you can assign to the whole gender.
Because hey, plenty of us would rather meet a nice person than a total jag.
But just because someone has acted like an ass, doesn’t mean he’s a bad person.
It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, certainly. But it means his girlfriend is going to get attracted to him more. Feminism wants us guys to believe the opposite, but men are supposed to be masculine to be attractive. I was taught to be a wimp, basically, and treat them nicely. Being nice isn’t attractive at all apparently, but I can’t believe I’m nice to the point that they don’t even consider me as a partner. Then again, it could be something else that’s causing rejection. It might even have nothing to do with me as I haven’t tried enough yet. However, the girls I know in my life are very limited. I’ve exhausted my options with real life girls, so online dating might be my last resort, since I can’t seem to approach any random girls to get to know them. Or maybe my friends could introduce me to someone. I hope there’s no shame in that.
But, if girls were indeed attracted to nice guys, they would be choosing me instead of choosing those who treat like total garbage just because they have good looks. I’m average or just a little bit above average at best when it comes to looks, so of course, why would they want me when they have an array of good looking guys to choose from? I’m just a nice guy who respects them and treats them nicely, nothing to see here, girls, I’m not an asshole, I make a horrible boyfriend. That’s the logic of women, and I’m not trying to insult you, but I’m observing this almost everyday.
You seem to know what the problem is. It is not the girls rejecting you, it is your love-shyness causing the problems. Go out with friends and have a few drinks and try to relax and stop thinking about getting a girlfriend and it will likely happen when you least expect it. And yes I do know how you feel, I’ll repost what I posted before.
I can relate to what you are going through. I am 49 and I’m a virgin whom has never had a girlfriend, never kissed or been on a date. I have only ever been with prostitutes and I was humiliated by everyone of them because I have a micropenis and can not have intercourse.
I developed a humiliation perversion that means that I get sexually aroused now when humiliated due to it happening so many times previously. Once the sexual arousal has gone, all the humiliation and knowing the entire world thinks I am a joke causes major depression, anxiety and social phobia. I started isolating myself years ago and had not been touched by another human for over 5 years and I was going months without talking to another human. This isolation caused me to have a breakdown in 2011 and I was hospitalized.
I’d really suggest that you don’t make things worse like I did by isolating yourself. Try to get out and meet more people and try to make some new friends. I understand that It is very difficult to do but you really need to make the effort before things become worse. I wish you all the best.
Thank you again. I don’t understand why we have to go through this though.
By the way, did you change your username?
Everyone has different problems in life and being single and lonely is devastating to us but I have no doubt there are people out there who are in the same situation that really don’t care if they are single their entire lives. You just have to try and enjoy what life you have and not compare your life with others. Comparing your own life to those around you will always have you wanting more. Having a girlfriend will not fix all your problems and may even create a whole new batch of problems as I am sure those here whom are in relationships can attest to.
In your profile you have a Username and a Nickname. You can make your Nickname different to your username. Then you choose your Display name which can be either. I changed my name to match the name I use on my blog.
I’m super awkward around people in general, but when you share a common interest, it’s a lot easier to talk to them. I found that working in customer service, where you have to actually talk to strangers on a daily basis, made me more..brave I guess? I don’t know. Don’t beat yourself up over not having a girlfriend or anything either. A lot of girls now are really narcissistic and just. Just really fucked up lol. Not to mention a lot of girls going for the tall pretty boys. You won’t want someone who only cares for looks anyway, those people are terrible. So maybe try to idk, find people with common interests, get to know them for a while and then try to ask them out
A job involving talking to strangers is the most inappropriate job for me. I need time to feel comfortable talking to someone new. I can’t help it, that’s just the way I am.
I agree with everything you said about girls. However, when girls look at a guy, first thing is his looks that matter. If they deem him unattractive based on looks, it’s impossible they will change their mind when they get to know him. That’s how girls are. And what blows my mind is that I’m not even bad looking. Yes, I’m not a 10 and not even an 8, but at least I’m datable based exclusively on looks (according to people who know me). I also have a personality that nearly everyone who meets me likes, but I’m just too socially awkward and too much of an introvert to actually develop any new friendships (although I have the last few years, but I admit lately I haven’t been putting effort to stay in contact with them). So I don’t understand why a reasonably good-looking guy with a nice personality can’t attract girls.
Also, about your friends. They might just think that you’re busy or that you don’t want to talk to them. This happened as soon as I graduated high school. I didn’t bother to message any of them for months because I was so down about not having a job and not going to college, and none of them tried to talk to me either. But, as soon as I tried to talk to them and tried to hang out, everything went back to how it used to be. So it’s probably just that your friends think you’re purposely avoiding them. Try and talk to them
“Feminism wants us guys to believe the opposite, but men are supposed to be masculine to be attractive.”
Don’t invest so heavily in the labels. You are drinking a brand of poisonous koolaide that was invented in the 60s.
Self-confidence, centeredness, and openness are attractive, regardless of gender.
And is it my fault that I was born a socially awkward, shy introvert with social anxiety and all kinds of social problems? Why does shyness automatically translate to a lack of self-confidence?
Tell me, would you still be able to retain your self-confidence when you get constantly rejected?
Also, girls don’t need to do anything. All they need to do is put themselves out there, and I’ve been observing this for enough time to firmly believe it.
I am not placing blame on you. There is no fault. The tools you have to navigate life is what you have. You can acquire more. Yes, you may have less tools than the average person to deal with romance. This doesn’t make you defective. This doesn’t make society wrong. It just is.
I’m lucky in love, but terrible at jobs. You may be the opposite. I tell you what I tell myself. Keep trying. Keep improving myself. That is where self confidence comes from.
Lastly, I expect the women I date to bring as much to the game as me, to try as hard to capture my attention as I try to capture theirs. Parity helps make successful relationships.
Are you an alpha male by any chance?
Girls don’t even try to capture my attention. I’m invisible to them. With every rejection, I’m believing more and more that it will never happen, and that I’m possibly unattractive to them, simple as that. Come to think of it, there are infinitely guys that they deem better than me, so it could well be that I don’t even stand a chance. I mean come on, 24 freaking years old with no romantic experience whatsoever! Who the hell wants to live this way?
And no, I’m not good at jobs. I suck terribly. Although I’m good at music and coding.
Anyway, I agree with you that I should keep improving myself, when I’m not constantly depressed and suicidal!
Ha. I’m pretty damn un-alpha. I’m also a Quaker, so I avoid fights, up to and including running away. Tall, white, balding, old. I was just lucky enough to give up my courtship anxiety in my 20s. I turned shyness into humility and weirdness into comedy.
But, boy, the woman repelling field I used to have was epic. Eventually it became a field that only repelled sane women. Time passed and it eventually faded. Now I have a woman attracting field only because most guys stopped growing in their 20s or they’re married or dead. Yes, I am far above average mostly due to attrition!
Then one day online dating was invented. I guess, in a weird way, you can say I am an alpha there. I prefer women that like to read. I can write a 7,000 word dating profile. All the shyness and crazy insights I had so long ago allowed me to express my vulnerability and brilliance in text. I have no doubt that 99 out of 100 women that read my writing go “ewwww”. But if 10,000 women read my stuff, I end up with 100 first dates.
You will find your voice. You will find your audience. You will be able to differentiate yourself from the other guys. First find tools that allow you to get past the shyness. After that, all you have to do is ask, “wanna go out sometime?”
BTW, I’m nervous as hell before every first date. I learned to go from nerves = fear to nerves = excitement. If I could do the same thing with getting a job I would be a god!
The problem with online dating is you need to be above average in looks. I’d say I’m slightly above average. Do you think I might succeed with online dating? I know for a fact that women don’t even bother to read profiles of guys they don’t find attractive in regards to looks. Of course they wouldn’t, their inbox is flooding with messages.
I imagine if I’m going to do online dating I’d need to message a ton of girls each day, if I’m to have a chance.
It seems that I have this woman repelling field…
Good lord, I’m nothing to look at. No hair on top keeps me out of the super sexy category. In my experience, guys are the ones that don’t read (or write, for that matter). But I am also looking for much older women than you are. They read. They read thoroughly.
Young women may be more looks focused, but I find it hard to believe most of them are that way. But I may be out if touch.
Sure try online dating but only message many women if you have many interesting things to say. Three sentence introductions are poison! You are a product and the salesman both. Be positive. Express interest. Tell a good story. Back off. Never ever send more then one message. Only reply when they do. Relax.
That’s the problem with incel (involuntary celibacy). You can’t know what’s the reason for your situation. For all I know, it could all be external factors. Also, incel is seldom talked about, and there’s a false idea about people going through it that they’re misogynists or bad people or there’s something wrong with them. I assure you, I’m neither a misogynist, nor am I a ‘bad’ person, nor there’s something wrong with me as a person, but I’m still incel. So it’s a situation that’s hard to explain.
I’ll give online dating a shot. It seems I’m feeling relatively better now, but I’m still annoyed that I’m 24 and didn’t get to start with dating yet. And seeing how things are, there’s a possibility I’ll never get to, which is an extremely scary thought that I always try to keep out of my head. But when it seizes me, this is what happens. I become suicidal.
And trust me, most people look at looks first. Seeing that you’re being accepted by some women, means they find you physically attractive. We humans do care about looks, we care about looks more than anything else, certainly more than personality. I came to admit this to myself, though I know realistically I can’t get a 10 girl or even an 8 or even 7! So my standards aren’t high at all. I barely have any standards, actually. And I’ve also conditioned myself to care about personality. Most women don’t have to do this, since they have many guys hitting on them anyway, so many of them develop extremely high standards. Also, their nature urges them to sleep with the most attractive guy they can find. Why? Millions of years of evolution can’t be canceled by just a few thousand years of civilization. It’s hard-wired in them, so I don’t blame them at all, but I thought there must be at least one girl who would find me attractive enough, and who will be aware of her nature and maybe would be making a conscious effort to overlook these things. I’ve known some women who are like this. They know their nature, and they consciously try to change it. So far I’ve been wrong. I’ll see what will happen in the near future. Maybe I’ll meet a girl who would want me through online dating.
Thank you for the tips about online dating, and sorry for the long reply.
I’ve had the same problem, only it’s more emotional and trust issues, and on top of that I am ugly and get really fucked up in the head, but yeah… Anyway, I think there usually is a reason, but it’s not always really obvious, and people see others situations more objectively than their own. Sometimes it’s just bad luck too, but I’d look at what other guys do and say that works. Try things out. Good luck.
The problem is that when you’ve been single since the moment you were born, and you keep failing at getting a girlfriend, you slowly become miserable, depressed as shit, and you don’t want to even try anymore, because you honestly start believing that it will never work. Your self-esteem fades, although I learned how to build it by myself through other means, along with self-confidence. Most guys get their confidence through the fact that they’re able to attract girls, and they don’t even realize this, and then they come and tell me that I need confidence to attract a girl. In fact, I’m the one qualified to give advice on confidence, not them. Anyway, all those experiences backfired on me, and made me miserable and suicidal. Tell me, why can’t a guy like me get a girlfriend? Did you personally see anything wrong with me through my posts?
What other guys are doing is just what comes to their minds. I’ve already mentioned love-shyness. Other guys don’t have love-shyness and social anxiety, and I do. It’s not like they’re pulling off any magic tricks. Girls are just attracted to them, simple as that. The longer I go without someone, the more depressed I become, and the more unattractive I am to girls because, well, they never see me with a girl, and to them, perhaps on a subconscious level, it signifies that I’m not desired by the opposite sex. So the longer it takes me to find someone, the worse things get. The way it’s going, I won’t be getting a girlfriend any time soon, if ever.