What i have realized in the recent past, is simply that i am a needless person wasting the space in this shitty (for me) place, known as the earth. And I can prove my point to you.
Firstly i hate the society and humans who all of them selfish and hypocrites. They follow the same rules (trying being cool, have a nice appearance only to be liked be others and hiding their true character) because this is the only way to be accepted. I am not interested in to meet new people anymore and i hate speaking to them because i waste my time for nothing. I don’t want anyone to dare to speak to me. I want my mouth to stay shut until i fucking die. People are so fucking idiots for me.
I am very depressed and i am no longer interested in doing anything at all anymore. Days are passing doing nothing and suffering. I don’t want to do anything to improve the situation because i simply don’t care for anything. I waste the space in this world because i hate myself and i have no ambitions and no interest for anything or anyone. I don’t want anything from others and i want others to want nothing for me (live me alone)
I DO NOT LIVE…I SIMPLY EXIST
that’s why i am useless in this world.
This is what i realized and i am in a dead end as i don’t know why i live and what to do in this miserable life? Seriously, i want someone to tell me….
6 comments
You could live as a misanthropic hermit…
I feel like you’re making large generalizations and applying them to everyone, and using that as a reason to stay shut off.
” I don’t want to do anything to improve the situation because i simply don’t care for snyrything. I waste the space in this world because i hate myself and i have no ambitions and no interest for anything or anyone.” If the situation improved, you would probably find your caring and interest rekindled… just a thought.
Don’t throw away what could be reused or recycled.
You don’t like the society around you, but there are many different groups of people in the world.
What would you say is ‘useful’? Most people do some good and some bad, but no one can decide what makes someone useful. They can only realise how they feel useful.
Simply existing, not living, is another problem – one for you, not the people around you. Put them aside for the moment. Why to live – all I can think of is for a better future, or for the sake of loved ones. If the future headed in a new direction, it could be worth waiting for. I suppose everyone finds their own answers. For me I want to see myself cured of depression before I die. I don’t know exactly what it would feel like, but I see the joy that people feel when they aren’t afflicted with this and they find their path to happiness. I want to feel it too… After so much waiting, I want to reach the other side of this hell. I want to stop acting like such an idiot and learn to be myself. When I make someone happier, then it makes me want to live that bit more. Having those purposes doesn’t make life easy, and depression makes them vague and sometimes non-existent. But it helps me lean away from suicide and towards life sometimes.
Did you have a purpose in the past?
Nice response. I may not know what useful is but i believe i understand what ”useless” is and that is to live alone with despair for a long time which makes you don’t give a shit for anyone and don’t want anyone to give a shit for me. Is when your are filled up with self hate and feel bitter and angered with other people (hypocrites and selfish) so cutting any communications with them->so i am ”useless” for them.
I respect you view of waiting for a better future. But for me to wait in pain and suffering for a day, that might even never comes, to change my life even the slightest, i think it doesn’t worth it.
I am sick and tired with people and anything and i see no exit to the depression that i am.
It sounds like you might be projecting some of your problems/emotions onto the people around you. But I realise that knowing what your depression is and how it affects you doesn’t in itself stop it from existing. It’s only the first small step. I understand not wanting to wait and work on it. It’s usually a slow journey.
You are not useless! You are a life support system for several organs until our corporate overlords require you. Several kgs of carbon are locked in your body instead of being in the atmosphere. Your posts here make us exercise our empathy and typing skills.
Even Jesus said it was OK to simply exist:
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin
I myself am having a severe crisis of directionlessness. Yeah, that sucks. It’s a pain in the ass that I have to keep myself busy doing fuck-all while I figure out which end is up. But I won’t beat myself up over this, mainly because every other average Joe will at one time go through the exact same thing, too. This is the human condition: God delegated the job of giving out the Owner’s Manual for Life and somebody seriously fucked up.
Look, there are people out there whose lives are devoted to trying to give more people diabetes in the form of a tasty sugary drink. That is evil. You are doing Good by NOT doing many things. All of us should get a medal for that!
It’s OK to be gimpy and fart around until you find that thing that is worth devoting yourself to. We all have to start somewhere.
Every person posting on this site makes me feel less alone and therefore slightly less depressed therefore every person posting on this site is useful.