I don’t actually want to kill myself. I want to live. I want to not just breathe. I want to live. I’m constantly feeling like I’m dying. I have dreams, I have goals, I want to live. So why can’t I!!! Why is my life one huge disappointment after another! Why is everything extra fucking hard for me! Why can’t I be normal!!!! Why do I even suck at my suicide attempts!!! I can’t do shit right.
5 comments
I’ve spent the whole day thinking the exact same thing; I want to die because I’m exhausted, but in fact I probably still want to live — but I can’t! I’m trying to survive, but nothing works and then I’m back to the same place I was before, wondering if I’m already allowed to die or not. Agh, so many thoughts… And this cycle of unhappiness. Nothing I say makes sense anymore.
Wishing you luck.
I want to live too. I honestly feel like if I could just feel alive and content (i.e. shift my depression and make myself happier) I think I could take on just about anything else. Fingers crossed that I’ll get there… and I hope you do too. Very much so.
I know the feeling. I just want (ed) a decent, normal life of taking care of myself and being loved. But everything is too much to ask. I hear ya.
I am glad that you suck at your suicide attempts, because you need to learn how incredibly talented you can be in the art of living. I have been here many times myself- time has helped heal me a little, but it hasn’t ever fully gone… Good luck love 🙂 We are all here, cheering you on
I am so afraid to live