So the thought came to me today that I’ve posted 3 things about my problems but I haven’t done anything to try to help others. So I decided that I’m gonna help someone today, i’m gonna try to help a persons problems seem easier to manage. And…I couldn’t. I scrolled through a lot of posts but couldn’t think of what go say…maybe what I said was actually good and i am just being too hard on myself, or maybe what I said was actually pretty poor advice. We’ll never know. But I figured this would be a good alternative. So, what I want you to do is, tell me how your day is going/went. Is it going good, bad, need to get something off your chest? Talk here. I got the idea from Take a deep breath so credit to you.
share your suicide story
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That’s nice 🙂 Sometimes I wish I could take back every single comment I’ve ever posted because I think most of what I said was stupid, but then I go and post some more… My day’s neutral, the ceiling’s not crashing in, that’s always a plus. Just some cramming to do classwork, I neglected psychology for a couple of weeks so I had to do a lot today but it wasn’t too bad. Huzzah for online classes. What about you?
Ehhh…my day is…I’m not sure really. I’ve sering what others have said and the advice people gave and applied it to me and it has helped a lot. But every time I feel like it could get better that ceiling crashes again. It’s like I fix the ceiling and it seems like it will stay up, but as soon as I walk out the ceiling crashes behind me, so I have to keep trying to fix it in hopes it doesn’t just fall on top of me again. (I hope some of that made sense)
Ya, it did. For me, for the most part the ceiling is there, and I’m aware of it, but it doesn’t wanna come crashing down, and I can maintain a low level of functioning, like as long as I do nothing then it’s not overwhelming. Then I do something, or I try to change things, and it’s like NOPE, what do you think you’re doing? and BOOM falls on my head… *sigh* At least it lets me do schoolwork, but if I had to actually physically go to class everyday I’d be done.
That sucks, I’m really sorry. Hopefully as time goes on we can both be there for each other to help with each others ceilings. Idk about you…but I could use all the help I can get
I’m sorry too… wish we could just move outside and not worry about it, but then we’d just be rained on.. :/
This came at the perfect time for me, although I’m not sure anyone could help me right now. Today is the worst day I’ve had for weeks. I spent almost the entire day in bed. Yesterday I went out for the day and came home in severe pain, but the three days before that were in bed as well. For the first day I felt much better than I usually do when I can’t leave bed, but each day I’ve felt more depressed and today really tops it. I’ve been practicing meditation for a short while each day for a month or so, and I’ve noticed it lifting my depression a little. It’s still amazing that it’s happened and I’m trying not to forget it, when just yesterday, before the pain got really bad, I was surprised again at how much better things were.
Today I woke up and felt so disconnected from everyone and everyone. I’m much more depressed than I’ve been even at my lowest points in the last few days. I thought about cutting, which I don’t think I’ve done for a couple of years. I thought about suicide – a lot. One thing that’s helped me so much recently is being here and starting to feel connected to such an amazing group of people. There are several individuals I could mention and in an ideal world would love to stay in touch with, but everyone here means the world to me. Now I feel like someone has cut away that part of my mind. I feel the same, but all the positive emotions are gone. Completely, overnight. I’m back to the place that brought me here three years ago, where I was so lonely and disconnected from the world that I felt I could easily die from the pain. It could change back just as easily, but it’s been making me more hopeless. It’s too much. It’s too painful.
I certainly don’t expect someone to come along and fix it for me. But even though I’ve literally not shut up about it all day long to anyone who will listen, I wanted to get it off my chest one more time. If I could rip myself out of the world right now, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Anything to stop feeling this, anything.
Anyway… thank you for this post.
<3
I’m gonna have them overnight those pandas… you deserve so much more than this.
“Now I feel like someone has cut away that part of my mind. I feel the same, but all the positive emotions are gone. Completely, overnight. I’m back to the place that brought me here…”
Not cut away, the pain ate it. Now you have a hole that needs filling up. Let’s make that hole whole, shall we:
Somebody recently went to bed not crying for a change, because of you. Somebody decided not to cut themselves again, because of you. Somebody decided to live for one more day, because of you. Everyone here is raised up, up high, because of you.
Thank you for being here. Thank you for making me feel better validated heard. Thank you for the entertainment the hugs the sharing.
You are loved.
@SeeSmith, I can’t think of anything to say… except thank you. So much.
Not just for the things you said but for your presence here. I can’t tell you the difference it makes.
^^ I wholeheartedly agree with this. Everything you post… [hits like button]
^^^ That was a bit vague, I need to work on that… I love both of ya’s peoples posts when ya do ya thing with the commenting…
@SeeSmith & @freeroma, you’re two of my favourite people in my laptop. If I could I’d keep you there forever. In a non-creepy way… Thank you for caring for me. 🙂
I think that’s the highest compliment I’ve ever gotten 🙂 I’d be glad to live there, as long as you fed me (I prefer souls, any kind really, I’m not too picky)
I’ll see what I can do, m’dear. It might have to be Word documents for the time being.
Can I just like this entire comment chain like hundreds of thousands of times? Can somebody install a damn like button, so I can just keep pressing it?
Sorry, I only do creepy. It’s one of the rules in the guidebook they gave me when I turned 50.
My brother. (bows respectfully) Damn it you are old enough to be my dad! Meaning you are the king of creepy, and cool.
@SeeSmith, your loss! I would’ve made you listen to my favourite songs on never-ending repeat and fed you cat memes for breakfast.
I agree wholeheartedly with what see smith said. Before I joined this site I was a mess. I didn’t cut, and I couldn’t bring myself to commit suicide, and while that may seem good, it didn’t help. My mind was a living hell as memories replayed of horrible things of things people said and things I’ve experienced like a broken record. My depression ruled my life, and my anxiety was the cruel queen. A day didn’t pass by I didn’t have some form of anxiety attack. I had nightmares every night. It took me do long just to get out of bed because I had no will to. I didn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I cried every time I was alone. I viewed myself as a pathetic piece of filth that deserved everything I got. I felt alone. I felt needy. If you asked my friends who I talk to about my depression they’d probably say I talked to them a lot when I was sad or something. But what they didn’t know is for every time I did manage to send that text there were at least 3 other times I felt I didn’t want to bother them so I chose to suffer in silence. I was at a low in my life I hope to never reach again. But then a friend recommended me to this site and the support I’ve received from people makes me want to cry. Not of sadness, but of joy. People like you Trix, who helped and continue to help me despite the fact you don’t know me and you have your own problems. I don’t know you personally. I know barely anything about you. But from what I’ve seen you have a very kind heart and I’m sad I cannot do much to help. But you’ve helped me so if there’s anything I can ever do never hesitate to ask. You are an important person to me and countless others you impact on this site. If you need anything ask me or see smith or free roma or take a deep breath or any other person on this site.
I’m really sorry this was so long. I related to your post so much I had to share.
AWWWW. Look at the love you got coming out on this post… 🙂 Mission accomplished.
@Wanttogiveup, thank you. It helps to know that someone can relate, and thank you so much for the offer. I’ll keep it in mind. It helped a lot, thank you.
Nice idea! Unfortunately, I have everything I need in life except 200 clay Albianian drachmas. I doubt you can help me there.
May I ask why you need that? Lol I’m curious
I dunno. Some days you wake up and say to yourself, “I need 200 clay Albanian drachmas.” Yesterday it was bacon, go figure.
Everybody needs bacon in their life
Glad my ideas can be of use!! It is really thoughtful of you to reach out to those in need with a helping hand. Thank you for posting this… I am doing ok. For the first time in years, I am accepting myself for who I am. Not entirely, but piece by piece. It’s like piecing together a tall, blonde, 3-D puzzle (heh). I’m not really sure who I am anymore, but I am finding the things that make me who I am, and I’m trying to put those together as well. As for self-harm… well, that hasn’t been going so great, but I’ve received darn good advice from some very snazzy people, so I am hoping the application of those ideas will help some. How are you doing, love?
I’ve been much better since I joined this site. The support from people on here is astounding and I never thought people who don’t know me could be so nice. I’m managing my depression much better. I hope I can be of service to you in the future to repay all you’ve done for me. Speaking of which, I assume you’ve heard of the red marker technique for cutting? I recommend that for your urge to cut.
I am beyond happy to hear that this site is helping you! And I am so glad to be part of that healing process, love 🙂 I am currently running a trial period for the red marker technique; thank you for your suggestion! I hope you have a wonderful night, love 🙂
I’m glad to have such a supportive person br a part of the healing process. Is there any way we can talk outside sp?
Of course love! My email is under my profile 🙂
@TaDB, 3D puzzle? Tall? Blonde? Ok, somehow you just described the most awesome thing I’ve ever heard of in my life 😛 How many times am I gonna have to compliment you in one day? 😛 lol
@Wanttogiveup, thanks for this. I have my days where I want to freaking vent and I can’t find the right person to talk to… Shitty day. Between the constant lying about going to class and doing good in class, to the constant numbness in my heart on a day to day, the everyday tiredness and random aches and pains that always manage to come along, the crappy early mornings to go to university to just sit down and do nothing all freaking day… I can’t even focus anymore.. Only videogames and my writings bring me any kind of solace… I wold love to sleep and never wake back up, but that just terrifies me….. My recent chapter in my story got extremely weird and uncomfortable and I’m having serious second thoughts about it,but I’m rambling now.. Anways, thanks again. I needed this..
Haha I’ve got blue eyes and curly blonde hair if you were wondering mindlessgamer619 😉 Thanks for the compliments, love. It means a lot to have people who see you for who you truly are, even if they have never physically met.
Jesus, blue eyes and curly blonde hair? people would eat crow’s meat to have a shot with you around here. Wars would be fought, empires would fall, the economy would collapse, massive hysteria, cats and dogs living together!
(not me, because i’m old enough to be my father’s father, but people around here? yeah, all that i mentioned above and maybe a couple of galaxian high score duel’s… when they start with those you the sh*t got real)
Lmao you guys are making me blush 😉 Thank you Mf- however, I am not trying to start any wars around here! You are too sweet, love.
You are beautiful, I just know it 😉 😀
wanttogiveup, you’re truly an amazing person. i hope you’ve been doing alright and ill always be here whenever you need me. 🙂