Have u ever looked around and seen people laughing, smiling, talking…. An ever thought why? Now, it’s an everyday occurrence for me. Why are they laughing. What could possibly be so funny that they laugh without a care in the world. Why motivates them to maintain that tiring position of a gin on your face. For me, I wear a mask. I don’t even know why I do. I smirk when I’m suppose to, don’t talk out of place, and listen quietly. Now I’m in my bathroom, tearing up, questioning my will to live and move on. Why are we even here. Why do we have to follow what is expected of us in society. How can people effortlessly do what they do. Why am I so broken. Is something wrong with me and my kind? Or is something wrong with the world around us. Depression. I hate that word. They treat it like a disease and u have to take medicine for it. Instead of depression, it’s more of a realization on the crappy world around u. Why is it so wrong that they have to change u back. Why do we have to be normal and fit in society and contribute. Why why why. I was born in the wrong world.
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Well, clinical depression has been confirmed to be a disease, at least here in Canada. What you have may not be depression but it’s tough. Seeing the world for what it is is something I see too, a world of utter pointlessness involving the pursuit of the accumulation of wealth and comfort. While I can’t exclude the idea of depression, perhaps you are in a state of transcendence? Maybe that word might suit? But, but, but…. if you’re crying, have lost enjoyment and such, there is a possibility of having depression with an imbalance of chemicals in your brain. I have depression and I know that it is truly depression so I have a certain perspective on things.
I do take medication. I used to cry a lot but I’m somewhat in control now. I still see the pointlessness of it all, the fake and hollow-ness of it. I try to take things one day at a time.
All in all, I see where you’re coming from. It would be a good idea to talk with your doctor about your crying and feelings. Stay strong. 🙂
What Mark said. I feel the way you feel hoshi. I was diagnosed with severe depression …