Feeling Alone.

Hello, this is my first times me and I’m glad I found you. I can relate to so many people here after reading their post.

its 2:22am and its one of those nights where my pain won’t let me sleep and my mind is racing.

i recently left my job because I was taken for granted. I did so much there and it all went unnoticed. I am fincailly stuck! I attempted to open up a store on etsy making bday banners. To be honest I feel like it’s a completely waste of time. Nothing seems to go right, it takes me so long to do one thing that I end up needing to go to the store and buy more things.

I feel so lonely, “my best friend” takes sucide as a joke. He told me today that he’s tired of seeing me cry in front of my son and that he’s more important than me. I have begged him for help and he just puts a band aid on top of me. He thinks I’m ok but even when I try to tell him my life feels like it’s ending he thinks I’ll get over it.

i also have a bf who much rather be on fb or be with his friends. Things have changed so much and I had so man anxiety attacks because of how bad we argue. He doesn’t take anxiety or sucide seriously. Sometimes I just wish to really find  a way to end my life so they can realize how much pain I was in.

i have tried everything, from praying, meditating, writing in my journal to comstently saying affirmations. When I find a little bit a hope to wake up happy and do it for my son things get worse then before. I honestly think things will never change and I will never win. I feel like I’m permanently stuck loosing at everything.

thank you to whoever reads this.