These past few days I’ve been trying to stay as positive as I can. Thinking positive thoughts, trying to smile more (even if I don’t feel like smiling)But, it’s getting harder and harder to keep smiling, when all I want to do is the exact opposite. I try to say positive quotes in my head but it’s like my negative thoughts over power my positive ones, and I end up listening to them. How do I stay positive, when my mind is trying so hard to fight me? How do you guys stay positive? What makes you smile, when you’re depressed, and have no hope? How do you get rid of those thoughts?
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I suppose I try and counsel and coach myself. I look at the thoughts as if they were someone else’s and try to rationalise them just as I would if I were reading them here or a colleague was saying them. Sometimes all I can do is count to 100 over and over.
That was a bit of a lame answer frim me now I read it back. Some people aren’t cut out for positive thinking. One of my docs once told me that some people are just born with a kind of depressive, maudlin nature. I think I have that. Positive thinking hasn’t worked that well for me but rational thinking really helps. I just basically learned the principles of Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy and use that. Some of my negative thoughts are kind of ridiculous and dramatic so I really have to rationalise them. That’s what I meant in my first post. I have learned to like my darker, pessimistic side but I have to use rationality to keep it in check.
I think you’re on the right path. It’s a skill and takes a lot of strength and practice. I think it’ll get a lot easier over time, and the negative thoughts will get weaker.
To stop myself drowning in those thoughts or the pain, I try to talk to people (which I find a lot harder when I get more ill), and like bruiseviolet I try to rationalise my thoughts. I try to keep a grip on reality and the world around me. One thing that’s helped lately is reminding myself that I love [a particular person], and then thinking of different people I appreciate. Those thoughts pull me back to something worthwhile, and when all other feelings other than pain and despair disappear, I can usually hold onto that one – at least enough to stay alive. At the moment I’m in the same place as you though – I don’t feel that I have that much control yet.
I second the opinion that you are on the right path. ‘Staying positive’ is looked down on by so many people, but really there is no way to change oneself without pretending to be different, in the beginning of the journey.
My advice to you is this: allow the negative thoughts to sink in, and don’t push them down. Instead, accept each negative thought as true, and repeat your resolve to go forward and stay positive, in your mind. If you accept all thoughts, the matter of truth becomes more inconsequential, and the matter of resolve becomes of paramount importance.
I practice mindfulness, play with my dogs or let go all my negative thoughts through drawing, although what works for someone might not work for others.
In the past, I read a book called The Power and that helped me to change to positive thoughts in my darkest time and get moving. You should give that book a try.
I haven’t picked it up lately, it’s like there’s a side of me that’s telling me not too. Being stubborn.
Lately, I’ve been getting by with chemical assistance. Self-medicating. It helps, but it can be another trap if that’s all you rely on. Working out is great for feeling better, but I know how hard it is to even get started!
I can be on a roll for a while and then completely stop and have to start over again. Frustrating.