I’m stuck again… this time, I no longer feel the satisfaction I used to feel. Nothing seems good to me… watching a movie or TV show doesn’t satisfy… doesn’t distract me from what’s going on inside.
The scariest part, not even food tastes the same…
I wish I could find some relief… but I don’t know where to go… I’m not sure what to do.
The worst part? This is all my fault… I screwed up again…
I wish I were dead. Or maybe that I never existed… maybe then I wouldn’t hurt so many people.
2 comments
I know how you feel. I’m living it too. I don’t know what the best thing for you to do is, but keep in mind that you can ask others for help. I’ve always been reluctant to do that, but sometimes it’s the best thing you could do for yourself and the people around you.
Desensitization is the product of repetition, perhaps you could modify something in your life? Change is one of the most significantly relieving things and I’m sure would greatly benefit you. There are so many aspects of your life that is possible to alter – maybe buy something new or adapt to a new lifestyle, explore any medium – new music is also relieving (I usually find mine on Pandora or a site called 8tracks) Meeting people is the greatest change as people are innately flexible and constantly changing themselves which will influence change in yourself. Join a club, find meet up areas, enroll in some kind of group activity I’m serious meeting new people is incredible. It’s not actually that hard to come in contact with a new group of people, there are so many opportunities if you really invest yourself in finding them. New people will also give you a sense of appreciation of you and care which may make you realize that you do have worth that is valuable to the world and would be lost with your absence.