People might get the wrong impression from a 27 year old man saying this, but im sharing it because probably some of us here experience the same .
Well not in those days when it seems like all hope is lost.
But every now and then feels like all i needed was to be held to be cuddled to have someone hugging me , strocking my hair and tell me it’s gonna be ok . to show me a different perspective on things.
Does the same happens to you?
28 comments
Dude, people are pulling in big bucks in NYC charging for nonsexual cuddling. There must be a metric crapton of people that feel like you do.
nextime1988,
yeah it’s called masturbation 🙂 seriously every now and the i feel like that but, that’s because i’m in charge all the time are you? we get tired and wish somebody would take over for a bit, but you find out pretty quick they just mess things up 🙂 and you can’t wait to take over again 🙂
Im not in charge per say but much is expected of me
nextime1988,
i have a boss but much is expected of me too! Same thing you feel like you need a break. wishful thinking! keep up the fight.
Ignore machismo rocketman there you deserve human contact without the pressure of sex. Regardless of responsibilities
Chick here. Human contact is universal. Regardless of gender. Guys just get brainwashed to believe something different.
Hazy Day Sunflower,
What? how did sex get involved? i’m a man he’s a man! just the same here’s a big internet hug from Rocketman !!!!
Sir, you are completely correct, I wish that every day of my life. human contact is simple a want that is programmed into each and ever one of us. So don’t worry,
Sure. Let’s get together.
Let’s 😀
I’ll bring th alcohol.
the*
;DDDDDDDD
I wish I could be in need of that, but human contact creeps me out. I dont like being touched for some reason. I’m quite insecure. The touch of my own hands is all I ever need. 🙂
Actually, yes. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I think that human touch is extremely therapeutic. We need it as bad as we need food and water.
I had that once, a really long hug that was so fantastic and felt so wonderful….with someone I really connected with. But we can’t be together currently( it’s complicated) and I tell you tears are streaming down my face and my heart just hurts
London I’m so sorry. I totally understand though.
If someone were to hug me, cuddle with me and tell me everything is going to be fine ok (which yeah, i sort of kinda think i need) i’d most likely:
1. be ready to pay the girl (because i’d assume she’s… well, you can guess that one),
2. be ready to listen to what favor they’re about to ask
3. protect my kidney (because she might want to stole it and sell it in the black market,
4. start getting ready for the end of times, most likely i’d pray to cthulhu or some pseudo satanic/pagan god,
5.1. start crying and roll into fetal position,
5.2. rob some random lady of her diamond wedding ring and propose to the girl right now and there claiming to love her until the end of times, only to realize she’s already taken, dying of cancer, or just a really confused person that mistook me for someone else.
5.1 – 5.2 are mostly step 1 and 2 of number 5, but i can see them working separately as well.
@Mf. Everything is going to be okay. Can’t help with 1-5.2. It’s interesting you have three subcategories for #5 though. I’ve decided you are my friend. So here is a virtual hug. Cause well yeah you are my friend.
@HDS: Can’t call you my friend unless you at least help me with number 4. I mean, praying to the dark lord cthulhu is a classic way to consolidate any friendship!
(no, but really, thanks. Guess i’ve been overly sensitive lately or something, because other than my tooth/medication, which bothers me less by now, i’ve been really down. Back to decaf it is.)
@Mf. It’s a deal. I really need a friend and I’m all for praying to Cthulhu. Since I’m an Episcopalian, it’s okay for me to pray to just about any god I choose as long as I discuss how we are all going to heaven after we die. Cause yeah, that’s what we are all doing.
Yeah I’m lonely. So friends it is!
@HDS: Haha “i’m an episcopalian so i can pray to whatever evil god exists”. That’s pure quotable gold. Reminds me of cartman’s biblical songs (i’ve been watching way too much south park lately) www. youtube. com/watch?v=oK6tXk3AZYc
It’s fun because i didn’t notice how lonely i felt until my dentist started going really deep on my root canal on my final appointment. While she stuck those needles or whatever those are in my tooth, she sort of held onto my chin with her other hand to push them in. This might sound like the weirdest thing ever, but she wasn’t rough, and there was some tenderness to it. She also cleaned up some water than run down my chin (not drool, thank god), and then i realized… hell, this is actually getting to me, i’m really screwed up.
Tried getting the hell out of there when she ended it (they were taking rx so she left for a moment) and when i was leaving… she said goodbye from afar (to which i replied with a gesture) but… yeah, was enough to bring me down hard. Guess i’m getting a plant, a stuffed bear, or some better pain killers, lol.
@Mf, nope makes sense to me. Sometimes I just wander around my building where I work thinking of what it would be like to sit with someone I randomly run into and just talk and maybe hold hands. Nope totally get it.
Glad my colleagues aren’t mind readers…or the random people I see in the hallways.
@Mf. and FTR dental visits are really intimate. I have a heard time handling how intimate they are.
@HDS: ? what do you mean by that? i mean, i sort of got to the conclusion that there’s got to be at least some sort of weak connection built along 3 sessions of you letting a stranger get needles into your mouth, but intimate? curious to hear your arguments about that, lol.
Wouldn’t it be funny to just walk somewhere and say to someone, hey do you wanna hold hands and talk about life for a while? i’m lonely. It’d sure be a hell of a way to start a conversation hah.
@Mf The idea of letting someone touch the inside of my mouth. It’s really personal. Intimate. I don’t like people touching my lips but inside my mouth? It’s really hard. And since I can’t drink prior to a dental visit and asking them to give me valium would be just a trainwreck of huge proprotions, and since no one IRL knows this about me, I just tough it out and feel violated for days.
It would be lovely for someone to sit next to me and just hold my hand and say nothing. Preferably under the giant pecan tree outside the building at work. There is a bench there that I sometimes it under and listen to the quaker parrots. Yes. It would be nice. They would not have to say a thing.
@HDS: Good point. In a way it might explain why i got so affected by it too, since i’ve have not let anyone near me in the last 2.something years. Had some dental work done before, but it’s pretty different to have one appointment with a male doctor, than 3 appointments with a blonde, blue eyed, young doctor.
Honestly, avoiding eye contact was excruciatingly difficult now that i think about it, because eye contact is a lot more intimate to me than putting needles on my mouth (yeah, i’m weird like that). It’s not even the fact that she was a looker, but just… similar age, polite, plus somewhat of an oddball from what i could notice. Yeah… an undercover oddball, lol, go figure.
That silent hold handing sounds nice. I think you need an actual, particularly special person to achieve that (and to mantain it over time). Only once i’ve gotten something like that, but… yeah, people change. Seems nowadays lots of people think that you have to speak your mind and prove you have an opinion/personality, while undervaluing the power of a quiet, comfortable moment. Unspoken language works best in some situations.
@Mf. Nope I totally get the dental thing. My dentist is a flirter. He is positively encouragable. and he keeps touching my mouth. It is hard for me to handle. At least he hasn’t done all my dental procedures that was his hygienist, still her in my mouth is totally unnerving. I put my iPod on full blast and just pray. I cancelled my dental appointment this week and rescheduled because I just didn’t want that intimacy.
As far as quiet moments. People just talk too fucking much. sometimes just sitting there and experiencing someone sitting next to you, their space in your space, speaks way more than someone just droning on and on.