M crys

I was 7, my cousin 8yrs male, old told me that we are going to play boyfirend and girlfriend and I went with it not knowing what he would do next to me. We played for a while but then he started to play with my boobs thinking it was normal but I had a small feeling it wasn’t. At my age 9 and him at 10, we played again after that I went home and I was over hearing my parents talking about how I should know about sex and stuff cuz I had gotten my period too at that age and from that day on I knew that all the things that my cousin was doing to be was bad. Age 11 and him 12, I was in my room by myself when he came in to my room and told me to play again but I knew it was wrong to do that so I told him no. He got mad and hit me and I tried to run out but he pushed me down on the bed and made me blow him. Fro that age 11 and until 17 he made me do sexaul things ever time we did that he would tell me “don’t tell anyone you little slut about this if not I’ll hit you more and don’t you even think about getting a boyfriend cuz I’ll do even more thing.” Or ” don’t dress all girly the boys will look at you” every night I would cry myself to sleep with all that in my mind of all the things I did . age 15 he pushed me down and he forced me to do anal and I wanted to yell but he hit me and threatening if I did that he go for my sister next. Then he did something more that I wish he never took away from. From that day on my way of acting and smiling changed I would hate myself for letting him do this things to me but the sad thing is that my parents don’t know