As I was walking through the old hallway of my high school, my former teacher stopped me. She told me that I looked different, that something just didn’t resemble the same girl she once had in her classroom.
I looked at her confused and asked what she meant. She told me that she remembers the way I acted during freshman-junior years and that’s how I seemed to be now.
She explained to me that during my senior year she could see that I was in a happy place and I was content with the life I had adapted to. She asked me if I had returned to my dark place.
I pulled my sleeves up and explained to her that I had never left that dark place. I told her I began to get used to hiding all my pain because no one really cares to see it.
As she tried to deny that comment, I stopped her. I told her that if someone really cared that would’ve stopped me in these hallways six years ago. Not six years into the pain.
2 comments
Were you upset that she hadn’t asked you about it when she could see you were in a dark place? If that’s what happened, I could see why you’d be upset or angry about it. I’d be really upset if it was me.
I’m sorry if you’ve been in pain for such a long time. I think there is always someone out there who will care – it’s just that a lot of people don’t know what to do when they see you going through that. But showing your pain can be a good thing, because eventually someone will get it and might even be able to help.
We don’t always see things right away, only after seeing things from different perspectives do we get a clearer understanding. I did it/do it too. Never judge a book by it’s cover but if the covers all we’re given we can’t do anything until we are shown more. I’m sure if you were happy then down she would have said something, seeing you unhappy(though not to know if you are generally just a miserable person) then happy wouldn’t have bothered her seeing that you were doing well. It’s only after 15years that I now realise what I’ve been doing has damaged me so much, you’re lucky in the sense you see that now at a younger age. Do it in the ‘adult world’ and you’re screwed. School can be tough, just getting yourself prepped for FT work and responsibilities is the most important thing. Wish you well.