Man, how does it get like this? To the point where every time you think you’ve got the solution to better your situation, invest all the energy and time you feel you’ve got left into it, only to find it’s drug you further down and more stuck than you were before? Leaving you that much more used up and exhausted, immobile, paralyzed to make another move, fearing like before, the likelihood it’ll just sink you further down..
You feel like it’s a sick curse, like your life has already been written, unwittingly playing the unfortunate role of some tragedy stricken fictional character, only it’s not fiction. Keep waiting for the turn-around, the pay-off for sticking it out. But waiting doesn’t seem to bring anything, except the disquieting sense of neutrality. That at least by staying still, your actions aren’t unknowingly driving you further down into a place, even more stuck than before. But neutrality hardly feels like living.
I think I know the answer to my own unique neutrality. The hard part is knowing what to do about it, what direction to go. My heart going out to everyone who feels stuck in one way or another. I hope something comes along to help guide a possible way out, or at the least, offer something to make living more bearable in the interim.
5 comments
Yup, no matter how hard I try, how good I am, I get nowhere. So yeah, like you, I’m tired of trying.
And don’t you feel a sudden burst of confidence too? When you believe you have everything under control and going your way, you feel as if you can take on the world. Only to realize you’re stuck in the same position without progress.
I understand that feeling that you deserve something great after a hard day’s perseverance. And it is unfair when nothing good comes your way. I’m in a similar stuck situation right now. All I can honestly say is that you should put yourself first above everything – your health, job, life, goals, everything you want to make happen HAPPEN.
I’m sorry you feel this way.
I know I said it for many posts on this website but this is so much me. I could’ve written everything you just wrote. Only difference is I don’t think it is a curse, but just the most likely thing happening.
What should change for the better in my life? Is there any reason for or any means for such a change? No, so it is not happening and things are getting worse.
Neutrality is usually what i feel, and no it doesn’t feel like living. Feeling nothing doens’t feel like anything quite understandably.
Stuck yes, by the realities of this world and my own mind, and completely trapped inside them.
Stuck and stagnant. Story of my life. Then I look around and see other family members doing this and that. My grandmother was telling me how my little cousin has a real good job. I said “We’ll good for her.” Just something else to make me feel like shit. I didn’t ask to be sick… Or born. I was the older cousin with a good job and now the roles are reversed. I am a nobody and everyone younger than me is growing up and moving on.
Well said..