The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill himself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.
7 comments
You have a way with words.
Thank you,deadmanliving,for your kind words.Thank you.
I love this.
Thank you,ylem31.
For me its not the fear of death or dying,
(its living that terrifies me)
Because your trapt in your head and you just want to get out
One of my friends family thinks she wants to camit suicide for revege, because she made some mistakes and when she asked for help they ignored her and made fun of her. They have said things like she just wants attention, and for someone to hold her like a baby. And if she dose kill herself atleast we wont have to worry about here. Shes tried several times already and she hase made alot of mistakes that she feels gulty for. I see here everyday and i look into her eyes and i see this empty sadness. They dont know how she really feels because of some of the things she has said and done, and thays whu she feels so gulty. Shes giving up