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by Costy

The most important thing in life is confort. Material and also “spiritual” , I mean like being at peace with yourself. That is the most important thing.

I started to think very nihilistic lately . I feel like I am losing my mind. It seems that most human toughts and emotions are chemical reactions in the brain to make you see life in sunshines and rainbows for maintaing your survival plus passing on the genetic code by the means of reproduction.

I was in top shape last year, I and I was being able to fuck any girl I wanted because of my looks and phisique.I think a lot of people will kill to look like me and I am thinking about the meaning of the universe and the afterlife lel. I think about those things because I find this fucking human extincence so fucking complex but also in some way meaningless. I feel like I have all the answers. Some celebrities commit suicide because they had everything and got bored. Even I, I felt so good last year that I’ve said, omg life is so beautiful! but then my fucking idiotic brain started the toughts again and said now what? WE NEED TO PUT SOME QUESTIONS HAHAHA! I am not an atheist, still there are many proofs of evolution and no continuation for consciousness after death. Also there are proofs for “someone” that created all this shit because life can be so beautiful if you know how to live it . But I’ve started to be a little more crazy lately because of my intelligence..I lived for 20 years and I had somehow things to make me happy. Somehow, I feel bad for having things and others are starving on the streets.

You will never find and answer and when answers are found people will start to off themselves because they know everything. I feel like alredy know everything and whatever I do I will never get rid of this hell which is my mind. If there is nothing after death why not off yourself?

An advice for anyone lost here. I am a lost cause but I will tell you what someone told me-” Costy, I can’t explain you how we appeared, I can’t explain you where are we going. You have only two choices, to be happy or to be sad/depressed/toughtfull etc.”

There are so many facts for evolution but human emotions are so fucking intense that they can also be implanted by “something” that is beyond us. I feel like I did everything and know everything. And after I die some people will laugh and some will cry. The ones who will cry are my parents and relatives and the other ones are the other people who will say wtf was his problem? Fucking atheism and nihilism and stupid feeble human mind…


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Hazy Day Sunflower 2/2/2016 - 8:14 pm

I got two important facts from this: (no three, but the third was indirect)
1) Your meat suit is in way better shape than mine
2) The pain you are feeling is real, I see that, being lost is awful, especially when I lose my road map after thinking I had the correct marching orders.
3) This egg salad is really good, especially with the fresh iceberg lettuce (well the third was indirect, I was eating dinner while reading your post)

I really liked reading this. I’m not sure why. I think it was that you were so fucking beautiful that you could fuck any woman. Many people would read that and think it is insulting to read, but I found it rather refreshing. I think I have PC Exhaustion.

Costy 2/2/2016 - 9:55 pm

I’m glad you enjoyed your salad. I hope I didn’t offend people with “fuck any woman”.

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/2/2016 - 10:01 pm

Didn’t offend me. And of course it is all about me after all right?

Costy 2/2/2016 - 10:08 pm

What do you mean ?

Hazy Day Sunflower 2/2/2016 - 10:19 pm

KIDDING. just kidding. Not a very good joke if you aren’t laughing though. Truthfully, I found nothing offending in this post. It was honest and heart felt.

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