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To leave to those who have more use for it

by kismet

I used to own a house where I lived with my two children.  For various reasons (main one being that I became ill with what the doctors tend to call CFS – Chronic Fatigue Syndrome,) my children had to go and live with their Dad.  I was, at the time, on solo parent’s benefit and, of course, once my two babies weren’t living with me anymore I had to come off of it…  and could no longer afford to live in my house.  So, I sold the house (and got a small sum of money back from it.) I then went to live with my parents.

I would be lying to say that I enjoy living here.  I’m a true introvert who needs and craves her own space.  I had been obsessing over getting my own place again, however small.  Problem is, I wouldn’t be able to afford to make the repayments.  So, knowing I most likely will not be around in a few years time, I realise it really does not matter if I buy a house or not.

My Mother works at home, doing in-home childcare.  She isn’t so young anymore and has bad arthritis in her knees.  But because of the financial situation with her and my Dad, she has to keep working.  I watch her hobble around everyday and I think…  what if I could just give her my small life savings and she could go private and get her knees done?  It would be like a parting gift to her.  I mean, she could make much better use of the money that way.  What do you guys all think?

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4 comments

Moneypenny 2/19/2016 - 4:56 am

ZeldaS:
You matter. You may be sick, and depressed. You may have mental needs, like recluding yourself. You may had fisical needs like to ask for the children’s father to take care of them. And still, you deserve to take yourself into account. No. The world won’t be better if you are gone. your mother won’t be grateful to be able to opperate her knees problem over your well being.
Your money doesn’t worth more than your life. Don’t simplify things over that idea.
People need you, not what you give them, specially your parents and your kids. Because your presence is enough for them. The love you. They care for you.
So no, i don’t think is a good idea

ZeldaSky 2/19/2016 - 5:28 am

Thank you for your kind words. Giving the money to my mother would definitely not be the reason for my deciding to no longer be in this world, but it was just a happy idea I had one night while lying in bed. It made me cry to think that I could do that for her, so I knew it just felt like the right decision.

Moneypenny 2/19/2016 - 7:42 am

And if you do give her the money, what would it imply? The thing here is that you won’t hurt yourself in any way. But it is a beautiful idea to share what’s yours with the ones you love…
You say giving the money won’t be part of that decision. What is?

vedura 2/19/2016 - 6:59 am

You are a kind person with a good heart. I hope you stick around. This world needs more like you.

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