Pieces of one of the most profound posts I’ve ever read on SP. He explains it much better than I ever could.
“it wasn’t until i actually tried to recover, that i realized just how much further i’d still have to go…”
It’s like you think “if i could only just make it to status-x… i’d be okay.”
But then you get there, or take a few steps in that direction, and realize it’s even further away than you thought, when you were already thinking it was too far away to reach.
I find this particular aspect of depression most troubling, as it seems to resonate with every person i’ve met (IRL or internet). I don’t think there is a solution for that problem. I think there could be a solution for that problem, but that it is not clearly understood by others, well enough to appreciate the inherent paradox and downward spiral. Upon realizing that “recovery” requires something you can’t even reach, which is even more arduous than you previously thought, when you were already ready to give up, thinking it was already too hard before…
More people need to understand what that does to someone who is already unable to believe that recovery is even possible.
People throw around trivialized and oversimplified advice… and that just makes it worse, because it proves that only the depressed truly understand… and everyone else ends up making us feel even more hopeless and tries to guilt us into a path that we already see as laughably ineffective, and a waste of time and energy, and only extends our own suffering, and only increases the burden on those who seem to want us to believe that this is all just our own fault, and that we’re “being ridiculous” to think that we have no way to recover a worthwhile life, once we realize how far back, how far behind, how far down, we really are… and how we don’t even have the tools it takes to climb… “…like trying to scale Mount Everest with a pair of dining utensils…”
Why do so few people seem to “get” that people are depressed “because they can’t fix their problems,” more than anything else?
Sure, maybe we have some sort of “chemical imbalance,” but i bet the primary issue is almost always something that has occurred in life, and not just a “defective brain” like so many seem to think.
It seems my plan is set in motion. 3.5 hours and counting….