Why

I’m 19 and have a full time job as an apprentice in a good company. That’s about the only positive thing in my life. I have just moved into a new house. With my family. With my psychotic, alcoholic mother that beats me, screams at me. I’m the one that moved us in. I’m crying in my new room because she baught vodka while my dad and brother were out. I took it away and threw it away. So she beat me. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years last week because my depression has prevented me from being happy for many months now. I thought I’m being a good person. He went back to his ex the same day and claims he never loved me – she is his true love. He gave me a promise ring. We were gonna marry. I spoke to his parents. They really liked me. Now I’m sitting here alone. My vest friends – one is in another country becoming a doctor. One is at school. I can’t see them… i suffer from panic attacks. I just had one now. I pray every day. Where is the help?