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by beaubri

I can’t fucking sleep. I haven’t been able to sleep for 3 days now and im about ready to freak the fuck out. My body feels weird in a horrid way. I just want to blow my head off, or his. I hate this fucking place. I need to leave. Tonight I’m wearing 5 layers of clothes. Under 6 blankets. He’s fucking here and I want to fucking kill him. You have no fucking idea how didficult it is pretending everything is normal. Everything is fucking peachy mom! Don’t worry about me! I’m fucking fine!


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AttemptedSuicide 3/24/2016 - 4:09 am

Umm I want to give you a hug but i’m scared you might blow my head off -n-

AttemptedSuicide 3/24/2016 - 4:21 am

*slowly gives cookie* My Mom doesn’t care about my feelings either right now she’s currently out drinking with friends. Like the posh ***** she is… Fml

Randall 3/24/2016 - 4:26 am

3 days of no sleep. Yikes. I don’t know who ‘him’ is that you want to kill, but …

colorlesseverythings 3/24/2016 - 5:35 am

If i didnt know who “him” was id assume you were going crazy

colorlesseverythings 3/24/2016 - 5:39 am

Wow… im really really sorry for saying that. I went back and read some of your posts and i feel horrible now ;-;. Sorry

nepheliad 3/24/2016 - 6:03 am

I wish the police would listen to you… honestly if they didn’t, it just shows how stupid they are. And your mom thinks she’s in love with a pedophile rapist? (Or at least lives with him.) Ugh…
Maybe you should find different police officers to speak with who might be more willing to look into this guy’s history.

Not interested in life 3/24/2016 - 6:21 am

Try different police? maybe one will listen…

(who the fuck loves a pedophile? (your mum) That’s fucked up

Drowning 3/24/2016 - 7:49 am

Hay I’m having problems sleeping aswell it’s a nightmare sorry to hear about this man or what ever you situation seems differcult but I’m here if u want to chat

freeroma 3/24/2016 - 9:14 am

Sucks, Beaubri. I used to feel better about sleeping being wrapped in blankets like a taquito. I hope you’ll be able to sleep when he’s gone or you can go somewhere.

@nepheliad: There is only so much the police are able to do.
In the justice system they rely on that thing called ‘proof’. And unless you’re a child or go get examined right after it happened, you have little chance of forming a lasting case unless the pervert confesses, which rarely happens. There are cases that manage to go to trial that get dismissed because of that lack of proof, so it’s more prevalent to not ‘waste resources’ on a case that can’t go anywhere. By rights she should have had a full case, but it’s complicated further by her mother being an ostrich about the whole thing. While there’s technically a statute of limitations on when someone assaulted can report a crime with a chance of the allegations sticking, sadly it’s usually more a case of “He said, she said” and it doesn’t pan out well. Which is admittedly fucked up.
Mind you, this is from my admittedly limited understanding of how things work.

@Niil: Plenty of people love rapists and pedos. In my experience, when someone you love is accused of this shit, the response of the person being told is to deny, and deny hard. You know and love this person! How could they possibly do something like this? It must be a lie. (not everyone is like that, but it’s mostly what I’ve personally seen.) Though there was a woman I know who after being told her boyfriend was a repeat offender, accepted the fact that he did do it and still loved him and slept with him anyway. Which was especially nuts to me because she was assaulted by her brother when she was younger and can’t stand being around him.

And of course there’s that bullshit cultural practice of child brides. Pedophilia promoted on a mass scale.

beaubri 3/24/2016 - 3:20 pm

@everyone who replied; I need to leave but I domt know where to go. I would nich rather struggle in my head than struggle how I am now. I’m afraid to sleep because I can’t protect myself. And I feel like I will freeze up again. Even though the thought of killing him, or screaming, or even threatening him has crossed my mind many of time. I don’t know what I would do. I feel helpless. I feel dreadful. Fearful. I hate this place.

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