I’ve already stated how I’m waiting for summer to do anything and I’m not really sure how many, if any, people have been keeping up with my posts but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. When I first became depressed I found that I could escape my feelings by playing video games and it’s been effective until recently. A game comes out in a couple days that should keep distracted a little while longer but when I inevitably lose interest in it I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m already on the verge of giving up and doing something out of desperation that might not even kill me and cause terrible pain. It’s just, what are you supposed to do when you there’s nothing that motivates you any more? When your favourite thing to do no longer entertains you? Those are rhetorical I could probably predict every answer anyways. I can’t keep laying in my bed for 18 hours everyday but I literally don’t have any other option and I’m sure some of you will say that I actually probably do but that’s only because I can’t accurately describe my situation and you are not in my shoes. Almost everyday I dedicate about 6 hours of my day to finding a away out of my situation and even with my (I don’t like saying this because it’s condescending and I hate myself for it every time) above average intelligence I haven’t found one. Also to anyone that actually has kept up with my posts I would like to thank you for dealing with me and my unreasonably long and ranty posts, so thanks, and sorry too.
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Hi PineBapple,
The name’s Jack. This was the only one of your posts I’ve ever seen, so no, I haven’t been following your posts. Nonetheless, I do know what you’re going through. I’ve been dealing with this for decades! It isn’t easy. I often feel as if I’m grasping at straws.
You do realize that intelligent people are more prone to depression and suicide than people of lower intelligence, right? So, no, what you’re saying is not condescending; it’s a fact. My IQ is 168. And I’ve been dealing with this bad mojo since I was a kid. But I’m 50 now, so I’m a survivor. But still, I’m not out of the woods yet; probably never will be.
And yes, I know what it’s like to lose all fascination with life. I don’t spend 18 hours a day in bed, though. My situation is different. Sleep is the enemy. Haha! I spend most of the day in a daze, like a zombie. I get up at 2AM, and wonder why I even bother going to work every day. I don’t enjoy it. I detest human society. I detest this greed-driven market-society that in which we find find ourselves. But for some reason, I go through the motions. Shit, shower, shave, eat, work, etc. Rinse, lather, repeat. Not much of a life. What’s the point? I don’t know? Not a good answer from a guy with an IQ of 168, I know.
I used to paint. But I haven’t painted anything since 2007. I play the blues, but there are days where I don’t even touch my guitar. I used to write books. But I haven’t had a book published since 2011. I used to ride my bicycle 100 miles every week. But I haven’t touched the bike for months. I used to do a lot of things; don’t do much anymore. Yeah, I feel for you.
This website has helped. But I’ve only been on here a few days. What happens when this get’s old? Same answer. I don’t know? Continue grasping at straws, I guess.
Sorry I couldn’t be much help.
Respectfully,
Jack
Jack I would like to say that I’ve seen you around the site these last couple days and I’ve read a lot of your comments. You are, in a lot ways, someone I believe should be a role model for society but that might be slightly biased since I embody a lot of the same traits that I see and highly respect in you. I do know that intellectual people are more prone to suicidal tendencies which is why I believe the human brain is a double edged sword, thrusting the human race way ahead of any other race while simultaneously destroying it. Lastly don’t apologize for not being much help, there isn’t a lot of help you can give people like us we’ve probably already explored the help most people can give, besides I wasn’t really looking for help so much as I just felt I needed to express myself. Thanks for commenting, you succeeded in cheering up my day.
PineBapple, you made me smile, and that isn’t easy to do. Thanks.
Being a role model? I’m flattered. This world certainly need one, or two, or a zillion! Hahaha. Our current world leaders are more fucked up than us (here on this site), yet society doesn’t realize how dangerous THEY are. The public fears us, and embraces the truly dangerous psychopaths. Go figure.
I’m glad I had a hand in helping cheer you up. 😀
Your new friend,
Jack