I’ve already stated how I’m waiting for summer to do anything and I’m not really sure how many, if any, people have been keeping up with my posts but I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. When I first became depressed I found that I could escape my feelings by playing video games and it’s been effective until recently. A game comes out in a couple days that should keep distracted a little while longer but when I inevitably lose interest in it I don’t know what I’m going to do, I’m already on the verge of giving up and doing something out of desperation that might not even kill me and cause terrible pain. It’s just, what are you supposed to do when you there’s nothing that motivates you any more? When your favourite thing to do no longer entertains you? Those are rhetorical I could probably predict every answer anyways. I can’t keep laying in my bed for 18 hours everyday but I literally don’t have any other option and I’m sure some of you will say that I actually probably do but that’s only because I can’t accurately describe my situation and you are not in my shoes. Almost everyday I dedicate about 6 hours of my day to finding a away out of my situation and even with my (I don’t like saying this because it’s condescending and I hate myself for it every time) above average intelligence I haven’t found one. Also to anyone that actually has kept up with my posts I would like to thank you for dealing with me and my unreasonably long and ranty posts, so thanks, and sorry too.