Whatever it is. ….. I can’t …..
I feel like… I’m not depressed enough. Does that make any sense? Like, I’m not suicidal enough to be here. I don’t fit in.
I’m not numb. I feel. I feel a lot. I can’t describe it though. Sad, yes but not that sad. Angry, a little. I guess, well… I feel like a radio stuck between 2 stations. 2 different songs alternating, making no sense and a shit load of static.
The fuck is emotional static?
28 comments
Yep your not alone it’s like being in limbo edge of living not to close to death but also wanting to give up at the same time is a tricky one I no
Yeah. Something like that. I just can’t figure out what I’m doing here. Besides wasting space. Some people on SP are so good at helping and lifting others, I can’t.. I read the stories and I’m just like fuck, I’d kill myself too.
Then some here genuinely want help or advice. I’ve gotten some good advice. I can’t use it though. I won’t allow myself. So, as badly as I want to be connected somewhere, I’m not.
It’s the same system through every channel. I’m just wasting everyone’s time, energy, resources. I dare say, maybe I just want attention. Not really, I want left alone… but not too alone…
I have this tendency to desperately want social interaction, and immediately after it’s there, I no longer want it. I want to go back into hermit mode aimlessly browsing the web looking for direction. Nothing ever really hits the spot.
Yeah that’s how I feel I want people around but then I don’t I want to open up then I don’t it’s weird man your not alone
You have no idea how much this shit relates to me…
Dude, I swear I’m too “normal” to be here myself. Catch me at work and you’d swear I was a regular, “normal’, happy guy.
There isn’t a threshold you must cross in order to find a reason to post here you realize that right?
Anyhow, who knows tomorrow you could be miserable enough to cross your own perceived threshold for posting here. From what I’ve seen you fit in here fine, you generate a lot of conversation at least. At the end of the day isn’t meaningless joking and casual conversation the goal of this place? Perhaps it isn’t, but for ever person doing terribly we need someone doing a little better to pick them up, and point out the positives, or even just make light of a heavy situation.
If the discomfort creates an itch you can’t scratch resign, and I honestly find that emotional limbo period more restless and painful than the deep numbness or inability to function.
Thanks, I know there’s no threshold.
I’m just throwing a pity party I guess. I’m having a day where I keep telling myself I even suck at sucking at life.
So of course it’s bringing up all the repressed shit. Like how fucking badly I wanted to be cool in high school. Somehow ended up being the kid picked on by the kids that were picked on.
So, naturally I just assume everyone here wishes to tell me to go fuck myself, but there’s the pesky rules and shit
Your right here a place to unload conversation about this try work though out problems
And come full circle, I’m not working through shit. I can’t. I don’t comprehend working through something. It’s still there, it still happened, it doesn’t change… so I just ***** whoa is me? Everyone types “oh chin up” and thinks “what a fuck face” lol.
So…you’re upset that you’re not depressed enough?? LOL A.O.- you should be “happy.” And not everyone on this site is suicidal, though most of us are depressed. Just bc the site is called SP doesn’t mean everyone is making plans to off themselves today.
Welcome to my pity party, please put the gifts on a table
Nah, I came for the food. Where my baby back ribs be at, AO?
No ribs, just previously partially consumed banana. Sorry. Had to.
now why you gotta be like that?
It’s all I could scrape up on short notice…
Alan Ominous,
bah! IS RIGHT! Could it be your so use to feeling depressed you miss it?
I’m so fucking happy i just want to die? 🙂 i just can’t stand it i tell you!!!! i’m going to kill myself!! it will take the undertaker a week to wipe the smile off my face!!! 🙂
Eh, I’m pretty sure I’m not happy.
Just checked and nope, I’m not currently clapping my hands.
Pity party I like that one can I join lol
Sure, it’s like musical chairs, but there’s no music….or uhm… chairs… so just stand there and pretend you get it…
Haha stand there looking at the floor feeling sorry for our selfs ay
Alan Ominous,
Sure, it’s like musical chairs, but there’s no music….or uhm… chairs…??????
What kind of a fucked up game is that??? 🙂 boy remind me not to attend any of your party’s!
rocketman: Happy pity party! Alan Ominous!!!!
Alan Ominous: Thanks rocketman were going to play pin the tale on the donkey with no blind fold, no donkey or tail!!! 🙂
rocketman: Oh Wow! sounds like fun!
Alan Ominous: And then were going to play macro polo with no pool!! 🙂
rocketman: Gee how times fly’s! Sorry but i got to go!
Alan Ominous: To bad! next were going to play spin the bottle without a bottle and no girls!!! 🙂
We could always bob for apples, whoever finds the razor blade wins…
Alan Ominous, OK long as it not road apples i’m in!!! 🙂
I think it’s fine. I’ve never been diagnosed with anything but I’m still here posting about wanting to die. I don’t mind your posts and I’m not secretly thinking that you shouldn’t post and I don’t think anyone else is either.
I mean I think about dying all the time but I only really really wanna die sometimes, does that mean I’m not suicidal enough to be here?? I don’t know but no one’s kicking me out and no one wants to kick you out either.
I’ve seen you give out some pretty good advice so don’t count yourself useless there.
You don’t have to be suicidal to be here. Some people are constantly suicidal and some are not, but that doesn’t mean they can’t help and be helped by other people’s comments and experiences too. Like 4beyondhelp says above you’ve helped many people so that counts too. FTR i haven’t been actively suicidal for a while either (it does come back for brief periods tho) but reading and commenting still helps me so… why the hell not? lol.
I appreciate the kind words and encouragement but, kind of spoiling the party…
Sorry y’all, I’m late, but I brought two thirties!
Alllll riiight…. that’s the spirit