“You’ll promise me you wont kill yourself, right? You promise me? Not anytime soon, right?”
*Laughter*
It was the awkward kind of laughter; the funny one for the wrong reasons. The laughter of embarrassment, but all you can manage to muster out is a laugh. And smile. Not the cruel kind of laughter; where you’re teasing the person- getting them concerned.
That’s what I said to the psychologist today.
Or, whatever she was. Of course I promised her.
I have to give her credit, she figured out the date all by herself. She’s pretty smart.
Here’s my advice to you: If the psychologist’s trynna get some answers out of you that you feel you can’t answer without them begging, lie.
And so that’s what I did:
I lied.
14 comments
So your date is still set in stone?
I had my first meeting today.
Next up is March 22nd.
It was hilarious, really, the psychologist saying that with the date coming up pretty fast, I don’t even have enough time to TRY getting better.
Ha ha.
I didn’t tell her this but, I said, “Well….Maybe I’ll push forward the date.”
What a lie.
I was basically trying to say, “Don’t you realize this is a sign? I have it on March 22nd because I’m not supposed to get the adequate amount of help to change my mind.”
Setting yourself up for failure…interesting way to dive into death.
I can’t help but admit that at this point, if life steers itself wrong, then good for me. I haven nothing to live for either way.
I wouldn’t say I was setting myself up for it. She gave me the date, I expected it to be earlier, and its not. Then maybe its a damn sign.
I think I missed something on one of your previous posts, who gave you the date? I apologize for not remembering it and it is quicker to ask than to go crawling through thirty five or forty comments or post.
I think I missed something on one of your previous posts, who gave you the date? I apologize for not remembering it and it is quicker to ask than to go crawling through thirty five or forty comments or post.
What do you mean? It was a meeting with the psychologist.
You said she gave you a date. I don’t understand how she gave you a date. Is the date your next appointment? You’re killing yourself on the day of your next appointment?
No i just have a next appointment. But she figured out the date of my death…
How did she figure that out if you didn’t tell her?
I said, “What leads you to put me in an emergency room? How much can I tell you?”
And she said, “If you are going to harm yourself in the next 24-48 hours, then thats when the risk is high and I will have authorities step in.”
But I said, ‘Well…So, if its like… typically…a week. Or a month…Does that affect it? Or is it solely if its INSTANT?”
And she said, “Why do you have a date?”
“…”
“Is it far?”
“Uh…”
“Is it soon?”
“Yah….I guess.”
“Is it your birthday?”
“…. *angry breathing*”
“…Lemme search it up, or you could just tell me (WHICH I DIDN’T!)”
And that was that.
Hello GTSuicide_6
I suggest you change your psychologist by a psychoanalyst. I do therapy with a psychoanalyst and she can’t interfere with my decisions. In the cade of my suicide plans she’s listening carefully and helping me to be properly preoared for the gran momentum. There is no place for hypocrisie in therapy. I’m sorry but your psychologist can’t interfere with her belief and opinion, you have friends to do thst for you! Therapy is for you and your choices not hers. She is horrible…I’m sorry to say that!!!
A good psychoanalyst will recomend you to read some texts about death that will help you to be completely sure and peaceful about your suicide. Freud wrote wonderful texts about death and life being a shit…I read that. Plato also talks about death, etc. Texts that help you to pursue your goal: die when and how you want.
Thats incredible. I’m only 15.
I don’t think I can get my hands on a psychoanalyst. But that’s a new, cool concept.