Hello. Today was a bad day. I didn’t get yelled at or anything, just an angry look. That just made me realize how alone I am in this. I understand SP will be there for me, but outside of that, I have no one to talk to. I’m alone on this. I’m kind of a disappointment. And they are justified in being disappointed in me. I’m not the most outgoing person and I’m kid of lazy and pathetic. To them they’ve put so much money and time and effort into me only to have me come out as a sort of nothing. I see why it is frustrating for them. I have a headache. I am starting to lose it a little. Really tired of this and everything. I guess I still have to keep going. When, I wonder, will I have enough of this and take the leap. I’m scared, but everyone has their tipping point to where they are not scared anymore. When is mine? Thank you for listening.
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Hey, J Doe. I’m sorry that your parents seem to be disappointed in you. But I don’t think they would wish for you to die, and I don’t think that they wouldn’t be upset if that were to happen. Especially if you were to do it as a response to their angry looks or yelling. They would no doubt blame themselves.
Sometimes, it is hard for parents of depressed kids to understand their children. In fact, from what I’ve seen, that’s usually the case. It’s often, on their end, very frustrating and confusing. I don’t think they hate you. They’re just…ignorant.
And even if they do hate you, that isn’t any indication of your own worth as a person. Parents are just like everyone else: some of them are cruel, irrational, and impossible to please. Their disappointment could just be a reflection of them, not of you. They may have birthed you, but they have no ability to decide your intrinsic worth.
“I’m kind of a disappointment…. To them they’ve put so much money and time and effort into me only to have me come out as a sort of nothing. I see why it is frustrating for them.”
I can relate to this all now, dude..
It’s hard, but parents (good parents, loving parents), try to do their best for their kids.. They want to see their kids grow up, move out, and become successful on their own… It’s hard when a depressed son of daughter comes along.. Like Fish said, it’s hard for parents of depressed kids to understand what’s going on.. It gets them frustrated.. My parents hate the fact that I have zero clue what I want to do now, and they call me lazy, fat, etc.
Also, like Fish said, I’m sure they do care about you, and they’d be devastated if you wound up killing yourself….
Just wanted you to know you aren’t alone bud.
A lot of times people react 2 ways when they can’t comprehend, understand or cope with what is going on so they lash out. Sometimes they lash out because they blame themselves and don’t know how to handle it.