How many times have I heard that a suicidal person is selfish if he/she kills him/her self? That makes me so angry, because I know the pain, the years of unending pain, that leads one to attempt suicide. When I hear things like “you’ve hurt so many people who care about you,” I want to scream “what about a pain that drives me to want to die.” Doesn’t that mean anything!
Does anyone else on this site relate? I’d like to read your input.
12 comments
Yeah it makes me angry. People say it when they cant comprehend/understand it. It’s because they think its less selfish to suffer to be a lamp shade. What i mean by that is something they would only notice if you’re gone. Otherwise no one cares about a lamp shade.
Wow! insightful response.
I don’t know you. We’ve never met. But lampshades don’t write responses to a post on this website. You are NOT a lampshade. You deserve respect and support. And you have mine.
Thanks I’d like to think im at least a curtain lol. I guess im trying to say people who don’t care simply want you as a placeholder. They don’t want you to die but they dont care about you.
What a clever analogy.
yes and no, I don’t like it when people verbalize things like that. They mostly don’t understand. It really doesn’t bother me too much though, as I tend not to be bothered easily by other people. Still annoys me though, as statements like that really help nobody.
Sure, suicide can be considered a selfish act. But it can also be considered a selfless act just as well. It just depends on which way you look at it.
The human mind can justify anything. It can also judge anything. This doesn’t make it right or wrong. It’s just the way things are.
But why does it make you angry when someone considers suicide a selfish act? Why do you even care about the opinions of others?
Ah, consider the source and be done with it. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Don’t worry about the opinions of others. Your anger isn’t going to change their opinion; it’s only harming you, raising your blood pressure, raising your stress levels, damaging your health.
Hey, in my opinion, suicide is really the ONLY thing we have 100% control over. We didn’t have a say in being born, and for the most part, we don’t have much control over our lives. We do, however, have 100% control on how we choose to exit this world. That is a very liberating feeling. And if that is selfish, then so be it.
It makes me feel bad more than angry, to be honest. Certainly the people saying it don’t really understand the desire to die, and they’re probably also saying whatever they can to make suicidal people keep living. Whether the end/intention justifies the means, I don’t know.
Personally, I do feel selfish when I seriously consider suicide because I know I’ll hurt probably one person, possibly permanently, and inconvenience probably a lot of other people. The lampshade thing is totally accurate, though, because no one notices or cares about my life while I live but if I die, suddenly everyone notices and has to deal with it.
Me feeling guilty and selfish about wanting to die isn’t saying that anyone else should. I feel that my life is worthless but I still value the lives and happiness of others and I really, really don’t want to inconvenience anyone. This sentiment is probably not normal or healthy so I don’t think you all should feel guilty.
Honestly I wish people wouldn’t say that suicide is selfish. Those of us who agree can already think so to ourselves, and those of us who don’t won’t magically change our minds. All it does to say it is upset people. Suicide has a lot more to do with the one committing it and their life than others, and I don’t think people should be told they can’t have any control over their own goddamn lives just because someone else might be upset. It’s a shitty mindset to perpetuate or reinforce.
Human beings are selfish, period. Selfishness is the root cause of society’s miseries – you know, the same miseries that make some people want to die. This is the same selfishness that allows people to lock up the suicidal and forget about them, so they can get back to their shopping (and I am being a little bit of a hypocrite there since I bought a shirt and a hat last night).
It bothers me how people try to guilt you out of killing yourself when a feeling of intense guilt is what drives a lot of people to kill themselves in the first place. I really only see doing something like that as making things worse for everyone instead of improving anything. Trying to stop someone who feels terrible by making them feel even more terrible just seems like an awful idea.
I don’t think people can relate.
I mean, sometimes I will see e.g. celebrities talk about some rough patch in their life, and it will be something maybe lasting a few months, and they will talk about it as if it was the WORST experience ever, and has really changed them etc.
And I’ll be there, suicidal and miserable for so many years, and… lost for words at how privileged they actually are, and how clueless. To have it end after a few months. Wow.
One shouldn’t compare subjective pain experiences, I guess, but most people maybe don’t know how good they have it just by being relatively sane and functional for most of their lives.
vedura, yeah i understand, but it does hurt people when you kill yourself, that is a fact, i can understand them saying that.
the part about being selfish i can not understand that because they are not experiencing the pain, perhaps when they say that we should hit them with a 2×4 and ask how do you feel now?
i like the coward thing myself, you bunch of idiots! do you think a coward can can put a gun in his mouth and pull the fucking trigger? you try it!!! moron!!!
also lets not forget people are scared of accepting it then they might do it themselves.
This makes me extremely angry. To be called selfish or weak or a coward. The bravest thing I ever did was swallow a handful of pills because it was such a fear filled emotion before I did it. When I feel suicidal it is not out of selfishness but out of feeling like everyone is better without me here. I fight the emotions and the ups and downs and the intrusive auicidal thoughts daily, they don’t. When they do, they can come tell me how selfish I am being.