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I just can’t fight tonight

by akg1229

My head is screaming. My body is screaming. The voices and intrusive images are taking over. A crushing weight is sitting on my chest. I feel closer to the monsters in my head than the people who surround me. I can’t breathe and I can only think of ways to bring about physical pain to make the mental insanity end. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of pretending that I can survive this war that I never had a choice in. I did not choose to be born, nor did I choose to participate in this insanity that circulates in my head. I want so badly to be brave enough to finish my exit rather than striving to remain for the few who care.

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dividebyzero 4/11/2016 - 11:01 pm

Sounds like you’re having a panic attack. I’ve had lots of them myself. Head screaming, inability to breathe, wanting to hurt yourself physically to make the thoughts go away — all of that sounds way, way too familiar to me. I’m sorry.

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