The title says it… we’ve only been together for 9 months, but everyday was a blessing.
Yesterday, first thing in the morning (right after I text her good morning), i wake up and see a text from my best friend sent at 3 in the morning. It was a suicide note… as depressing as thinking your best friend killed herself (i found out later that day she failed), i tried really hard to stay somewhat in an okay mood. So needless to say, it was already a terrible day, but i didn’t even know how terrible it would soon get…
At about noon, i get a text from my girlfriend saying, “hey, we need to talk, and no, this is not an April fools or anything.” I nervously responded, “okay?..” and she started saying that she just doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. She used to say that her and i were fire and gasoline.. She broke off the love we shared.
Before people start rolling in saying, “well, that’s code for ‘she aint into you as much as you are to her,'” she is in love with me. Still. She has extremely bad depression, and is suicidal. Also, she used to cut, but i (mostly) broke her of that. So, for her to think that, is understandable, but she does “hurt” me, it’s just because I’m a little disappointed because i know she could achieve greater, she just holds herself back.
I love her so much, this can’t be the end…
“I’d sooner take my life, than live with losing you. ” -Dream Theater
11 comments
It seems like you’ve helped her quite a bit. From what you describe, perhaps she feels guilty for what has happened. Sometimes things are already overwhelming and the guilt gets the gears of isolation moving. Many people struggle enough internally…. The last thing they want to do is burden someone else.
Welcome to SP. This is quite a supportive site.
Thank you for the reply.. I need to find out how to show her she’s helped me so much and how she makes my everyday so amazing
Hey sweetheart. I know the pain you’re in. I do. If anything, I’m a lot like the girl you are describing. At the moment, I am in a relationship and….well, we are like twins. He is like my other half. We haven’t been dating very long, just 7 months, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Needless to say, we hit a really rough patch. To the point where he would try to kill himself one week and I the next. We were destroying each other. If you aren’t suicidal, put yourself in her shoes for a moment. She has voices tell her she isn’t good enough, that she is hurting the one person she cares about, that she isn’t worth being alive. Those messages are in her head constantly and when repeated over and over, she believes them in time. Just as Distant Road said, guilt can cause isolation. She feels that pushing you away is for your best interest…even if it’s not for you or her. I am not advocating to push her, but be a shining voice for her. I know this is hard. And I may not feel your pain at the moment, but I understand it. Maybe, if she is willing, try talking to her to get her to understand how much this hurts you and that you feel it would be better for both of you to stay together. I hope your situation works out, friend. Lots of love and support sent for both of you.
Thank you for that… it really does help a lot. She’s trying to protect me and I love her for that, but it’s hurting me more this way. I think her and I are going to be okay. Hopefully.
Wow im sorry to hear that. She might come back you said she still loves you ,then theres hope ?
A big part of me agrees with kupo95. I didn’t want to set your expectations up for something that might not happen. But if the break-up is due to guilt or something similar, it would seem that communication between you two might help things.
I think her and I will get back together. We both fight sometimes (the “break up” was not due to fighting), but it’s clear we both hold each other close. I just really miss her and am scared.
I hope so. You’re a good friend.
We got back together and talked through it a bit.. shes just afraid of hurting me. And thanks, you’re a good friend too.
I’m glad to hear that. Keep being the supportive and great friend that you are.
Give her time, keep in touch, be her friend. I used to isolate myself, thinking that if no one loved me, it would be less painful. Just let her know that you care, even if temporarily not as a lover.