In the past month my life seems to have gone from about a five (being ok and slightly happy) to a zero real quick. Almost all my friends have moved and I am actually alone for the first time in a while. I almost forgot how terrible the feeling was. Everyday day I’ve been repeating in my head “I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself, I wanna shoot myself..” I’ve also started to imagine me killing myself at school in the bathrooms or somewhere like that and wondering if anyone would actually care. But its not like they would…they don’t even know me.
Everyone seems so happy around this time of year. I wonder, why? Is it because its spring and flowers are blooming, nice weather, and fun is coming their way? Why can’t I ever be this happy? I always find a way to weigh myself down…It amazes me at the same time