I drift away, because at some point it becomes too hard to send the message or make the phone call. Just like it’s become too hard to get out of bed or make dinner or drive my car. But you don’t expect them to let you drift. In your fairytale fantasies, they pull you closer. They knock down your door if it’s too heavy for you to pull. Your arms push, but they force the embrace until you believe that it’s actually the best and safest place to be. That isn’t what happens though. They don’t mind that you get further and smaller and fainter. It’s easier that way.
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“Just like it’s become too hard to get out of bed or make dinner or drive my car.”That’s what depression does. Keep talking here, it helps to sort it out and helps others to not feel so alone and more understood.
When I can actually get my thoughts together, I will post here. It helps me, and I hope it does make someone feel less alone. Thanks for listening.
As october rain says, I feel like you get it. People never seem to care as much as we do. But I heard somewhere that sometimes it helps to consider that other people’s motivations aren’t always what you’d assume they would be. It may be that they do mind, but are afraid that it is because you don’t want to talk to them. (I’m not saying this is your fault, just to clarify). Wishing you the best.
Yea, I know this to be true. I actually had a convo with my roommate once in which she basically said that when I am silent, she assumes it’s because I don’t trust her enough to talk about it. Whereas, I had been hoping she would push me to talk, because I am the kind of person that needs to know that people really do want to listen. I think it’s a combination of misunderstood motives and actual apathy. It really depends on the person, I think. The problem is figuring out what’s really going on in each case. Like, who is the misunderstanding with? Who are the ones that do care but are afraid to ask? Tough.