my boyfriend knew something was wrong. bless his beautiful soul. he held me and asked me what was wrong. i went to class and came back and he had written me a letter saying sorry. sorry for what? he is too nice to me.

he is making it harder for me to do it. im a burden on everones life. i take up space and resources. im tired all the time even when all i do is lay in bed. he still calls me beautiful. i really want him to stop caring so i can just fucking die. theres so much unnecessary pain surrounding everyone. for every good thing that exists, ten terrible things follow close behind it. life isnt worth living when happiness comes in such short weak unpredictable bursts. i just want one day of my life to be happy. wake up warm in the arms of someone who loves me, eat delicious food, feel confident around people, get my work done, listen to beautiful music, sit outside, take a long warm shower, go to bed drunk and have wonderful sex, fall asleep gently in the arms of someone who loves me.