Her

It’s been a little over two years now since she left, I know I should be happy that she isn’t in pain anymore but when I think of her and everything we had I can’t help but cry.

Its been two years since my whole world was ruined by the girl who I had known for so many years, my best friend, my rock. I could have helped her, I could have answered her phone call but I just didn’t, I didn’t pick up the phone when I should have.

I’m so sorry I didn’t pick up, im so sorry I wasn’t able to help, oh why, why couldn’t I have helped, oh why.

Two years now, two years of crying at night, two years of blaming myself for everything, two years of being angry at everyone, more importantly at yourself.

When I lost her I lost everything, I lost my reason to be happy, I don’t talk to people about her, because when I do, I miss her more. I suddenly get a pain in my chest and the sudden urge to hurt.

I want her back, but I can’t, she’s dead you can’t bring the dead back to life, but you can send the living to the dead. Let them go. Take their last breath, I’m going to be with her soon, I just need to find the courage to finish myself. I already prepared everything, cleaned my room, put everything in order.

I can’t wait to be with her again, I can’t wait to stop hurting, I can’t wait until I won’t be able to hear anyone, I can’t wait to finally be happy.

Now that she’s gone, it seems like everything is getting worse, I miss her, and in gonna be with her soon.