I don’t know what to do

So I’m new on here and just found the site today but I think this could be beneficial for me. I am 27 years of age, I’ve been married over a year (almost 6 years with the guy),  our house and car are paid off, and I have two wonderful dogs. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. I’ve struggled with depression off and on for awhile and it’s getting bad now. I am so sorry in advance this is going to be long…

My husband is loving but not understanding at all, he is homemaker (I think that’s what it’s called, he doesn’t work) so I am the breadwinner. I don’t mind it but last year I took a leave of absence from my job (my aunt died and we were super close and I kinda freaked out) he thought it was stupid but he let me do it. Well things just haven’t been the same since I took leave, we’ve been fighting more and I’ve been getting more migraines because of it so since I work in a call center its hard for me to work when I have an episode. Well to try to make a long story shorter I needed up taking leave again and his mom helped me cover it up. I don’t think I can keep lieing to him about it or keep up working in the center because the headaches get so bad so often it’s affecting my pay. We fell really behind on a lot of bills and I feel like I’m drowning since I alone handle the finances. I can’t talk to him because when I do he freaks out and gets pissed I put us in this mess. I can’t get another job unless my income stays the same (which isn’t easy the center I work for pays well). I just feel like if I ended it he would get like 300k from life insurance and since he’s so cold he would just move on after a few months. I know I should be happy but I just can’t handle the stress of it all. I don’t know what to do or where I can turn for help. I’m trying to go back to work but it’s so hard when I can’t sleep because my brain won’t stop telling me I failed.