During a nervous breakdown I bulrted out I WANT TO KILL MYSLEF. Instead of an understanding conversation I got an hour lecture by Sandra because she is more un happy than me and she is out 80gs because of this town….only becuase “I TOLD HER TO BUY IT. ” and how everything that happen before November was a figment of my Imagination and How I destroyed my life she told me That she will send me home if I really want to kill myself she dose not know why. So she will call my mother in the morning if the feeling dose not pass……on the drive home she told me she thinks I never loved her son ….wich is a bunch fucking bullshit I Never cared I would not be here right know I would of nevet married him …You retriggered my depression. While waitind for the car my husband told me I beter think long and hard if I wanna leave him again .But he is the one that got on a plane and abandoned me for christmas. Sandra also said if I go home I will make a bigger mistake. …..how do they get in my head like this and make feel crazy when I know im not .
Just got pulled away inthe middle of writeing this to be told how much I don’ t care about this people and how selfish I am and I for the past six months since I have been so self fish …..my husband is upset with me my inlwas are fine if I left especially my mother in law . I was able to convince them I It was just wrong wording and and not what Im reall feeling its a good thing I keeped my sacrs hidden . the fat woman gave me a nerve pill.
All I heat is how I dont care about the money they spet and how I dont want to help them out of the whole and me being this sad is overdramatic. My husbad anger for my for my father over powers his sence of my feeling and if im ok . he lies constly yet i dont want the marige over Im really am crazy I hope O die in my sleep please. My feelings never mattered not once yet im staying and im gonna fight with my family for it and I dont know why i just feel traped and the way take me to more suffering then I am kniw either way if i leave or stay I will end problay dead . I have no home. I have no my husband will feel bad for himslef beacuase thats who really cares for I dont he ever care for my feelings ever not once if i need space he get more clingy if i need help he disperse if i neet to talk he dosent listen vut yet i stay becuasr. I dont want to hurt him . I i never stop crying .
He would not put his anger past him to make sure ok he used it as guilt against me he hate me and that make my chest hurt .I deserved to be dead and not about of these peoples world beause I must the wring one i am really isane broken person it all my fualt .
2 comments
You are living with blatantly abusive people. You are not what these people say you are.
As Hazy wrote, you are not how they describe you. These people are mentally torturing you. They will never support you and they won’t try to help you. This is not s good environment for you… or anyone … to be in.
There are people who love you, kupo. While these people might not, others do. You don’t deserve this and I hope that you can move forward from this… soon.
I care about you, kupo. Many of us here do. Please don’t stop trying. Don’t give up.