ready to vomit

I have been feeling the icy tendrils of depression wrapping around my ankles for a few weeks now.  The mist of bored distress have filled my mind.  I can’t concentrate on school…  This is not good.  I am finding it more difficult to stay positive and use my healthy coping skills.  In my head it sounds like a screaming saw “Cut, cut, cut”  and I can only visualize the plethora of methods to take my life.  I jumped off an overpass once…  Broke my leg…  Obviously it didn’t kill me.  Now I know better.  I am afraid of those hesitation marks.  The ones that hurt.  I wish it didn’t have to hurt, but it does.  I don’t make the same mistakes twice.  Carry-on.