Smiles

Hello.  It’s been a little while.  It’s testing week.  Had to study.  Should be studying.  Wanted to do a quick post.  This post is going to be dumb and whiny.  Please don’t be mad.  I can’t handle it when girls smile at me.  It bothers me.  A part of me thinks that she might like me or think I’m attractive.  Then the bigger part of me thinks that’s stupid and would never happen.  I really don’t know how to talk to or be around girls.  I can’t really even handle it if they look in my direction.  This one girl I don’t even know that well keeps looking in my direction and it kills me.  I know I’m not attractive or even that nice.  I’m a pretty shitty guy.  Thing is that part of me that has that bit of hope keeps scrapping in my mind.  Keeps popping up and annoying me.  I hate it.  Even if a girl was interested, for whatever bizarre reason, there’s nothing I can do about it.  Too much baggage.  Too afraid that she would realize that she is wrong.  What if I have a panic attack when she is around?  Too much baggage.  I doubt I would even make a good guy.  Sorry for the whiny post.  Won’t post for a while.  I have tests.  Need to study. Bye.