Maybe this, maybe that. Maybe improve your diet. Maybe find a new place to live. Maybe go to therapy. Maybe try to get over your social anxiety. Maybe that will make your life worthwhile. No! Just no! I’ve lived in Maybe Land for too long. I’ve tried and tried and tried. And I have tried enough to know that I can NOT make the improvements needed. I just can’t. I am coming to accept that instead of grasping at these seemingly never-ending straws that life so cruelly holds out to me. I haven’t cried in a long time now. I’m just numb. I have lost hope. I don’t feel the need to go on any longer to “see if it gets better.” I wish I had my supplies with me now.
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youtu.be/1E5vvulNS6A
Whether you grew up listening to old time tunes or emerged from Vault 13 with this fresh through your ears, this tune suits your post perfectly.
Thank you for trying; but what are you planning to do about it all?
Ok, Shep, I know I’m old but I’m not quite that old. I got through the first 30 seconds before my ears couldn’t take anymore and I had to switch it off. I appreciate you thinking of me though. Well, I now live alone, so I can pretty much do what I’ve had in mine for a few months now. Just unsure of setting…. house or car?
All the things that you mentioned are far from the realm of impossibility. Just if you’re “vegetablised”, then I would agree. If you’re tired of maybes, turn them into realities, despite how many times you tried and failed. Also, I’m sorry that you feel this way, but offing yourself is never the answer to a loss of hope.
They are just examples of problems people might have, and far from the total reality of my problems. They are much more complex than just that. Trust me, some things just aren’t fixable, and it just sometimes takes a while to come to terms with that fact.
I’m sorry to hear that. I know some things aren’t fixable, but those are chronic diseases with no cure, which will lead to certain death or extreme debilitation. Also, deaths of loved ones. Everything else has the potential to be overcome, in one way or another. Double also, do you have any loved ones? Do you think the potential relief of you offing yourself will outweigh the lifelong pain they’ll experience?
I’m glad to hear that you are not at that point yet where your coping resources simply just aren’t enough anymore to deal with what you need to deal with. If you still have hope, you’re one of the lucky ones. I also don’t like the implication that a person is selfish if they don’t continue to live for others.
I don’t have hope, I don’t expect my life to get any better, and at this point I’m not expecting anything out of life. However, I don’t give a fuck about that. I owe it to myself to live through the whole course of my life, and then die from God knows what. Sorry, I wasn’t insinuating that it’s selfish. I’m just stating the facts, it will cause lifelong pain. Like one person said on this forum, it will simply pass on the pain to those that are left.
Hah. Seems I’m far older than you are. The joy of being anachronistic (thanks Morris).
Remember that story about that CO gas poisoning down in Chch was it? That was pretty scary. In your case I’d have no idea, though I wish we could’ve met over a cup of coffee or something. I assume you’re still in Hastings so… Yeah
No I did not hear about that. Was this recent? Would make for interesting reading anyway. Yep, still too far away from you to drop round for a cuppa unfortunately.
I can relate with this. With the hell I’ve been in lately. It seems so hopeless that I dont want to live anymore. Sometimes at night I look at my bottle of sleep aids and wonder how many do I have to take to end this. By the time I figure out an answer I’m usually already asleep.