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Can’t cope

by king nothing

I’m really struggling to cope at the moment.  My car’s MOT is literally up in 2 days.  I have to get it sorted because I need my car.  Yet, I can’t call a garage to book it in.  I’m not scared or being wimpy.  Every time I think about doing it, I feel paralysed.  It is like there is a lump of asteroid in my throat, going down onto my chest and stopping me from breathing and swallowing.

I can’t stand the thought of going out, having to talk to people.  I couldn’t even go shopping, I had to order it online.  I’m good to go out into the garden; I like gardening.  I can have a word with the people next door.  But the thought of going further makes me feel sick and shaky.

Behold!  I’m still suffering from unrequited love too.  I recently had 3 dreams about them, on 3 different nights.  Scratch that, 3 different mornings because I can’t sleep until about 05:00 until 11:00.

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10 comments

SadPotato 7/5/2016 - 9:34 am

Sorry to hear about the social anxiety. However, as you know, you’ll have to go out sometimes. Just remember, that nothing apocalyptic will happen if you talk to other people. It’s just part of everyday life. Like those guys at the garage, they talk to a lot of people routinely, and you’ll just be one of the dozens that call or go to the garage everyday. Nothing weird, shocking, or life threatening, just daily life.

king nothing 7/5/2016 - 9:52 am

But daily life is apocalyptic…nah, just joking around 😉 Cheers for replying and helping! I’m trying to make it less stressful now. Like, I hate phoning garages (or anything really) because I feel that as soon as the person on the other end hears my weird, nasally voice, they’ll automatically hate me and think I’m an idiot. So I emailed a garage to avoid that. The garage is pretty near a library too, so I can vanish in there while my car is being sorted.

SadPotato 7/5/2016 - 10:11 am

Haha, sometimes it can feel like it. Ah, it’s good to hear that you planned everything out. O and I doubt your voice sounds as weird as you think. We all have different voices, each with their own pros and cons. Also, only the most shitty of people judge a person solely on their voice, that would be insanely stupid. So there’s no need to worry that much about your voice.

king nothing 7/5/2016 - 11:49 am

Thanks lots for the confidence boost, I do appreciate it 🙂 I had to phone in the end but I managed to speak clearly and didn’t have to repeat myself. Doesn’t help that I’ve got a weird surname that needs spelling, more often than not, lol! The guy on the phone was patient too so I’m feeling much more relaxed now.

SadPotato 7/5/2016 - 12:17 pm

No problem, and that’s great to hear. I’ve also got one of those weird surnames, so I know the struggle.

thehusk 7/5/2016 - 12:32 pm

I know the feeling well. I don’t drive (because of my anxiety), but every time I have to get the bus I feel like crap. I even try walking an hour to the store to lessen the anxiety but it doesn’t really help.

Making phone calls is the worst. I always end up doing it in the end if it can’t be avoided, but it’s a shame I can’t stop making myself feel so bad beforehand.

king nothing 7/5/2016 - 3:54 pm

It’s awful, isn’t it! I think half the trouble is worrying about having to actually make the call, yeah. I’d much rather email, then you can take your time and not have to speak live to a person.

thehusk 7/5/2016 - 4:27 pm

It is. I always try and email when I can, but sometimes you just can’t avoid making calls. Before I quit my last job I had to make and receive a lot of calls with difficult customers, and I thought being forced to do it so often would make it easier, but it didn’t. I don’t think exposure helps unless you can change the way you feel about yourself while you’re making the call.

Timel3ssDecay 7/5/2016 - 6:11 pm

I can’t say I know how you feel exactly but I sort of understand. Usually, every time I have to call somewhere, I become self conscious about every little thing.

I try to be aware of the feeling and proceed anyway. I’ve come to realize that people don’t care that much. They live in their own head and have their own worries. But they react to the way you feel and thus to the way you behave.

For instance, take dogs. If you are scared the dog senses it and is like:
you are scared? Why are you scared? You must have done something! What did you do?!
And the dog starts growling and barking even though you probably did nothing wrong.

Just do what you have to do and try not to give too much importance to the unpleasant and unjustified/undeserved things that others say or do

king nothing 7/5/2016 - 8:24 pm

Ouch, that sounds very stressful, yes! I am glad you are out of that job now!

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