If you’re as confused as I am, you don’t know why you’re here. You don’t know what you believe in or where you’re going in life or what’s in your future. You’re confused as to why you don’t want to be here.
If you’re as lost as I am, you don’t know where to turn. You don’t know who to talk to, who will listen, or who can help you. You’re lost in a darkness that bleeds through everything else.
If you’re as depressed as I am, you feel hopeless. You know that no matter what anyone else says, you can’t be happy, you don’t quite know how to smile and mean it, you don’t know how to stop crying at night. You’re permanently sad and you can’t cheer yourself up.
If you’re as hurt as I am, you feel vulnerable. You know you seem tough and that’s why you can’t let anyone in. You’ve been cheated on, lied to, abandoned, abused, raped, and betrayed. You have scars that will never heal, flashbacks that haunt, and lost trust that can never be regained.
If you’re like me, you’re not alone. And I’m not here to tell you I have all the answers and I know how to fix what we’re going through. Because I don’t. But I am here to tell you that I’m searching for the same answers, guidance, solace, closure, and happiness that you are. And I don’t know, maybe it’ll just help you a bit to know that I know and I CARE. It hurts and it sucks and it seems never-ending. But please- think 100 times over before ending your own life. And I will try to do the same.
Stay strong loves,
Alaska
6 comments
Thank you for this. I always have trouble putting this situation into words. This is what I’ve always tried to describe.
I know exactly what you mean:) I’ve never known how to word it and finally I was in a place where I could just write what I can’t say aloud
Thank you so much. This means a lot to me. I really needed to hear something nice today 🙂
I’m glad I helped 🙂
I too have difficulty putting my situation into words and you pretty much took the words right out of my mouth. But Im still moving on with my suicide next week. I thought about more than enough times and I still think it is the right decision. Thanks for your words. I hope you continue to reach out to people 🙂
I know that feeling so well, I understand. I wish you wouldn’t carry out your suicide and something in me hopes you change your mind. I wish you the best and I truly do wish I could do more to help in every way possible 🙂