I want to kill myself and I don’t understand what keeps me going. It could be my parents. But, I’ve never really been close to them. So I don’t think it bothers me all too much. Besides, they will get over it. That’s how humans work. You mourn and then you slowly get over it. I’ll eventually just be a part of their memories.
However, it could also be the fact I don’t have a sure-fire way of killing myself. We don’t possess any firearms or the likes. Pills don’t work. I know from my experience with Ativan. The only option I can see now is a plummet from a high-rise building. There’s a building near me I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Only problem is I don’t think it’s high enough; so I could just end up a vegetable.
I sort of wish I didn’t want to kill myself. But I honestly don’t want to live in this world anymore. I despise the way it is, and besides, the one thing I’ve truly ever wanted is just a stupid, fake notion. Maybe someday I’ll have the courage to end it. I just hope it’s soon.
2 comments
they will never get over it. what about other family too?, they will miss you. ill miss you too. every day is a new day to start changing your life in the way you want if you want. don’t give up. <3
I don’t speak to my other family. I’ve only ever talked to about four other family members. My grandma and my three cousins. My grandma was murdered, two of my cousins hate me (can’t say that I blame them), and my last cousin and I have grown apart. I also find it hard to believe a random stranger over the internet, whom I’ve never even talked to before, will miss me. Sorry. I also don’t see the point in trying to change anymore. All of my past attempts has proven to be useless. Besides, as I have said, I don’t like this world anymore. I understand what you’re trying to do. It’s nice, it really is. But I’ve given up long ago.