It’s been awhile since I posted here. I’ve been busy thinking for the past several days. Mainly about my next suicide attempt. When I wasn’t thinking about that I was thinking about stupid and pointless things.
I honestly don’t know where to start. Dyslexia and ADHD doesn’t exactly help when it comes to expressing thoughts, or anything really. I’ve been wondering if I should leave a note. I had a rough draft but I threw it away because I didn’t like it. Maybe I should write a new one?
I’ve been thinking about my past. Vivid images flood my mind, uncontrollably for the most part. Anyways, I wish I could forget. I wish I could just wipe my brain. I just want me to die.
I’ve always semi-lived in a fantasy world to cope with the loneliness and the pain that others have caused me. I liked my fantasy world, it was like a sanctuary, providing me with safety and comfort. But now even my sanctuary has been overrun by darkness.
I really wish I could be like a normal person. Society doesn’t like degenerate losers like me. But, even if I could be normal, I think I would rather die anyways. I don’t like people and all their double-standards.
Lastly, I think I hate my parents. I know, selfish, but I can’t help but feel this way. I’m such a burden to them. Have been my entire life. If only they decided to not have a child. But they was young and misguided. They thought a baby would make them happy. What a joke.
Anyways, that’s my rambling for tonight. I hope everyone has a better night/day than me.