I am just a brain.
With that thought comes the fact that people have been treating me like that for quite some time now, and it has led to me dissociating from my emotions quite frequently, as I grow to believe that I am just a brain. People have ignored my feelings and limitations just so that I would help them with their schoolwork. It’s my fault though. I allow it to happen, I am just a pushover with no spine or courage to speak up. I guess its just an inherent fear of failure that keeps me from turning them away. It’s not just my fellow students, the worst perpetrators of this are my teachers, who constantly praise me for my intellect and nothing else, who push me past my limits of focus in a vain attempt to please them. I am nothing really, just a worthless dog who seeks praise from whosoever will provide it. I am truly a failure to everyone.
1 comment
I don’t think you should worry, or beat yourself up, over school. School is n weird microcosm where everything builds towards a mark at the end of the year, and where most relationships are as shallow as a toilet bowl. So it’s par for the course if your teachers just focus on your intellect, and try to push you. They want you to achieve the best possible mark you can. Just focus on doing the best that you can on your own work. Also, helping others with their work clearly shows that you’re not worthless, and not a failure.