Just felt so tired and sick these past days. It’s hard to change and get out of this web I’m stuck in.
And the other day I was at the hospital and seeing people there who were suffering so bad made me realise just what a pathetic human being I am. Why should they have to go through all that pain and anguish. I don’t have a reason to be this way. Even more heartbreaking that many of them are probably doing amazing things or have done great things. They probably don’t want to die and have so much to live for. I wish I could change this hollow, worthless feeling inside. I need to try & make the most of what I’ve got in this life because death is the permanent Unknown and at least for now, I don’t know the sort of pain they are experiencing. I should be grateful, I can try to build a meaningful life and at least try to enjoy it while I’m here.
I’m so sorry to everyone here and anywhere who are suffering everyday, inside and out. I wish I could take it all away.
2 comments
Oh hun. Just because you don’t know the exact reason or cause doesn’t mean that there isn’t one. We don’t choose to feel this way and you deserve to seek help as much as those you speak of do.
i know, I agree but asking for help and getting the help you need are two different things and personally, it hasn’t worked out so well here. I know myself I need to try changing my way of thinking and trying new things or doing things I love to make it more tolerable – I’ve learnt that from people here, lovely people like you so thank you.