It doesnt stop…the constant pain…the constant sadness. it’s always there.
i tried to turn my life around..stopped taking drugs, kicked the alcohol abuse. left my toxic household, found the most beautiful man to share my life with. but it doesn’t end.
another suicide attempt a few weeks ago…another change of meds.
i should be happy. but these demons that possess me just wont leave me alone and they keep dragging me further and further into a void of pittliess darkness.
it is ungrateful for me to be unhappy really… i have a man who does everything he can to make me happy..yet he fails because i have become so emotionally unattached from this world. people whisper things about me.. how i used to be. they dont know and they dont know the pain and trauma that i have endured.
i started training as a nurse, but now im thinking i will have to drop that. i wanted to help people, but how can i expect and be expected to help others if i cannot help my own self.
im numb with anger,hurt and questions that cannot be answered.
why?
1 comment
Not helping ourselves or not listening to our own advice does not detract from the help or advice given and its impact. Many careers are driven through personal insight, it’s that understanding of pain that helps us relate, empathise, and care. Caring not only helps others, it can helps us and offers reprieve from our tainted thoughts.