what can you do.

Sorry for what I’m about to put you through. Remember nobody is forcing you to read this and feel free to ignore my emotional outburst.

Bottling your feelings is never a good idea and always ends up flooding in the worst ways,

I don’t want to put my problems onto others so why not make a post that’s not to anyone and doesn’t require a response!

I need to learn that no matter how hard you try to make others happy or do what other people want, that they will never be fully satisfied.

I worry so much about upsetting people and not wanting to hurt them that it means I do things that make me feel uncomfortable and usually results in the panic and all the other horrible feeling that come with it and it’s making everything so much worse.

I’m like a shell of the person I used to be and I can’t truly remember the last time I was actually happy, real happiness. I just don’t seem to make connections with people, I just feel nothing. I don’t want to be dead but I don’t want to be alive. I’m stuck and I’m not really sure what to do from here. I get up for work every day, put on a smile for the lovely service users and get on with it. Some days are worse than others but I keep going. The more you think about it the more you wonder why you’re doing it, what is the point of it all. It’s just exhausting. So drained.

Just need to tell myself. Change the way you think, you can do this, think of all the wonderful people you could be helping everyday. Think of the people in your life. Your family, who love you. It’s so hard but life was never going to or meant to be easy. Try. Work hard. At least show that you’re trying. What else can you do but continue and charge the mountain!

Usually when people feel this way they turn to sleep, but sleeping doesn’t do me much good and is never enough. Someone pass me some sleeping pills and let me escape for a little while. Please.