8 months until my only reason to live comes back, maybe more.
I can’t, I won’t make it, I can’t wait that long. With this miserable life and nobody who will help me. Just a slave trying to see the light of a beacon so far away from me.
I’ll buy the uniform, I almost have all the money. I’ll wear it a lot and go outside and smile my very first genuine smile.
Then I’ll kill myself.
New date: January 2017, probably.
I’m sorry, I can’t stop crying.
5 comments
kamidaka, can I email you?
Sure! I’m lie.ren3841 @ gmail (dot) com (remove spaces
I am so sorry. But I’m not in a position to tell you not to do it. It makes me sad that this is apparently your only way out, but honestly if you have to, make it quick and painless for yourself. You don’t deserve any more suffering
What’s going on? I’m sorry, I’m totally clueless here.
So you’re waiting for someone to come home and then kill yourself?
Or the wait is causing you to feel suicidal?
Either way, I’d highly recommend postponing that decision.
What’s really bothering you? Are you living alone right now? Are you employed?
How are your relationships? There’s a lot of ways that people can help you but
you have to open up and talk about it.
i kind of get you.
i want to kill myself constantly but never have the chance to. im practically constantly watched.
the fact is, no one will ever expect me to do it since i look so “happy.”
help