Well Managed to get my hubby out of the house for an hour and so I have been trying to attempt to kill myself but before it gets so far I imagine him coming home to early and finding me so now I’m too scared to do it! All that scheming just to get him out and I can’t even do it!
So annoyed at myself, hope he doesn’t see the marks around my neck now as that’s all I need 🙁
11 comments
But the method you chose takes not more than 10 minutes to be succesful, so in fact if he left eh home or an hour it’s qutie safe i think. But if somethign hlds you back it cna be 2 thins:
1. a part of you doesn’t want to dy yet
2. just the response of your boddy figting to stay aliveand holding you back. I think you know best which of the 2 it is. but i think we can better talk about this by email: stefan at deds.nl
I know it only takes a couple of mins to go unconscious and 20mins to die fully but the fact he hardly trusts me and I don’t blame him I can see him coming home early to try and catch me out or something.
Maybe it is me stopping myself, but I’m going to keep trying I can’t carry on like this plus my hubby is back to work next week 12hr shifts so I think I will have plenty of time then.
i realy wished we can talk, we have so much in common. I sent another replie but or some reson it seems you have to moderate it.
@ Stefan, when you use certain words your comments get auto sent to the moderation section
one such auto word is par+ner (if spelled with a t it’s a “no go” and straight to moderation)
Yes yu will have plenty of time than. I wish i had your strength, i’m in exactly the same situation as yu are. Tortured by guilt, living with a loving partner. But i’m to afraid to take the step iinto (what i expect) eternal hell, although i know i fully deserve it. I realy wished we can talk, we have so much the same situation.
Jesus Christ lady, what is your huge problem you can’t deal with?
A lot of people go over the edge because they have no hubby and no house. What’s your reason?
We all have our reasons just because I’m loved and got a house doesn’t mean I’m happy!
I have a life threatening condition that causes me to randomly swell up everywhere including airway and need an Epi pen followed by blood plasma infusion to keep the swelling down, but that only works for my throat and tongue swells. I have been in hospital 55 days since July and have to watch my hubby worry about me and care for me and he’s about to loose his job because of my ill health.
With all the drugs and stress I’m slowly loosing my hair. I have another condition HS that causes sores all over my body which spreads and multiply and the pain is excruciating and there is no cure only surgery or biological drugs which can cause other diseases and high risk of cancer which I don’t want.
A house and love doesn’t take the pain away, wish that it did. D**k!
Try living without it then tell me how meaningless it is.
Your idea is wrong, having a house and love doesn’t bring happiness always. I’ve made qutie bad mistakes in my life, and the guilt about them tortures me everyday. My parents didn’t want a blind child so i’ve never experienced real unconditional love in the first 26 years of my life. I’ve been locked in a cellar for 6 weeks in my own sh*t as a pnishment for bad school results. so sometimes when love comes, it is to late to safe/cure, it just can’t touch te deepest of my soul because it’s filled with emptiness and torture. So having a house or love doesn’t mean there’s no reason for suicide annymore.
Stefan if you’ve been locked in a cellar for 6 weeks as a punishment for getting bad school results, then ya parents should have been facing criminal charges and prison time..
Mountaingoat I have when I was 15 and got kicked out of my house, I slept on the streets till the self harm group was in helped me get into a youth hostel, in the meantime I did anything even things I’m ashamed of to get a roof over my head, even stayed with one guy that tortured and abused me so I didn’t have to live on the street and it torments me and shames me to this day.