I’ve had so little keeping me going for the last year or so. Just the three friends I’ve had for nearly half my life, and the three main hobbies that I’ve had for just as long. Still have the hobbies, I don’t think I could truly ever lose interest in them. Now it seems the last of my friends have decided to move on. I’m not part of they’re groups so much anymore, I just manage to pull them away for a time here and there. My day has boiled down to get up, go to school, talk at lunch every other day, go home, sit alone until I have to sleep. The worst part is I don’t even know how to start trying to fix this. I made it known that I want to be social and that it’s absolutely no problem for me to do stuff with them and that I would actually be thrilled to hang out, so far not one of them have even wanted to hang once. If I lose these guys I think that’s gonna be it for me. Somehow the younger me was great at making friends but the older me is shit at it and apparently can’t keep friends worth a shit either. Life has just been a constant down hill for about as long as I can remember, becoming more dull and colorless as I forced myself forward. Please for the love of God guys don’t make me have to get desprate. I don’t want to have to spill this shit out to them, it’d never be the same, I’d always feel like I was just being pitied and looked down on. Just get me through Highschool guys. Fuck knows how I’m gonna deal with college. I fucking hate growing apart from the only people I’ve ever trusted this much, don’t let them leave.
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2 comments
Speaking from personal experience I found it much easier to meet friends once I left high school and went to college. I know it seems so lonely now but in college there are so many people with the same interests as you no matter what they are. Part of life is losing old friends and gaining new ones. I won’t lie and say it gets better for everyone but it did for me.
@ColorlessBlurr –
AllByMyself said it perfectly. High School for so many is a rough ride. But as you enter college keep an open mind, rescue some of the younger you and soon you will find that people in college are different. Keep in mind that usually the years in HS collect people from more or less the same area, and usually those tend to be very similar in general behavior terms.
College however, there is the main difference. It tends to have a more interesting mix of people’s origins, age range, personalities, etc. so take advantage of that.
Also, don’t approach people with the hope and desire to make them your friends just because you need people around you. Simply treat them like what they are, people. Interact with them naturally, give yourself the time you need and friendships will grow before you know it.
People need to move on, and that includes you.
Lastly, don’t ever forget that sometimes the CLOSEST friend you can have is yourself. Whenever you are going through periods in life like this, when it seems all you have is you, take advantage of that! Learn about yourself, read a book on a subject you are either interested but haven’t come around to exploring, or a subject completely different than your usual ones.
Learn (or try) a new language, how to play an instrument. Go to a cafe or restaurant you normally don’t go to, talk to the clerks who seem to have a minute to chat. That is good practice and you may even come off with a new friend, a discount, or a free yogurt, who knows!
And finally, if you feel it might be worth a shot, talk to your closest friend about it. Tell them how you’ve been feeling you are growing apart from each other and how you’d like to rescue some of that. Just don’t make it an argument or a dramatic scene, it’s just talking about how you feel. They may pleasantly surprise you. Or they will turn away, but at least you will know now for sure where you stand.
Don’t forget, School is not all there is in life, but life is THE school itself; you can learn from its lessons everyday. Take care!