It seems that after the sun sets is when I can best take my thoughts and transform them into words. During the day, I’m a desert and communication is an mirage that I stumbled towards for days. Then the moon rises into the night sky and the sun’s rays no longer bake the promise of clarity before my eyes. It is in these moments where it becomes clear to me that everything I’ve ever felt can be eloquently molded into the thing I desire most: the ability to convey my truth. The irony reveals itself when these honest revelations that rushed over me like a flood the night before, forcing me awake, are lost in the sand of tomorrow’s dawn. Why is that I feel the most alive when the general populace is experiencing the only thing in life comparable to death? As they rest in peaceful slumber, I am suddenly struck with the motivation to accomplish my wildest dreams. This motivation is lost in the quiet whispers in the night, never to be found when exposed to the light. This yearning for a role reversal is not only on the side of the day, but also at night. The energy that I expend during the night leaves me exhausted during the day. I can hardly endure 24 hours without taking a nap. The result of this is that I sleep in the times I would prefer to be doing and I do at the times that I would like to be sleeping. Is this not nature’s truest irony?
4 comments
Same for a lot of us including myself…. I was posting something similar a few weeks ago… about coming alive at night. I’m a night owl so it makes sense depression or no depression…. daytime I can take or leave.
The problem for me is that I’m not a night owl at all. An early bird actually. I have so much trouble sleeping only to wake up naturally around 5 or 6.
Have you tried natural sleep aids like melatonin?
Cortisol, circadium rythem messed up. A saliva cortisol test might give some clue.